Friday, April 1, 2011
CAUTION... confessions ahead...
Today has been a seriously rough day.
There is no other way to put it.
I feel this overwhelming sea of emotions all hitting.
I feel like I've been doing a heck of a job trying to do everything, but today I just wasn't able to anymore.
I feel overwhelmed.
I feel like I am being a totally grumpy mom.
I am desperately needing some structure, and routine to re-enter our lives.
I am tired of feeling like I'm doing it all.
Yes, I told you... confessions are here!
Of a tired and overworked mother, who's missing her husband.
Do you know how I handle feeling overwhelmed?
I started ripping my house apart...
No, not in an angry way, in a I'm gonna get everything clean, and fresh, and in order sort of way.
By 11:30am curtains were taken down and in the wash, the vacuum was buzzing, furniture was moving and upside down, and dust was definitely flying!
I am really a crazy person.
At the same time, I know when I can get through the mountain of things on my list that I would like to have done, then it will be easier for me to deal with the day to day 'stuff'.
I don't know why, it's just how I am.
My kids were insane today.
Both so crabby, cranky, and tired, that we b a r e l y made it to bedtime.
I wish I was a better mom sometimes.
I wish that my patience were better.
I wish that I wasn't SO eager for it to be nap time, or bedtime like I was today.
I feel like screaming out the window, I NEED A BREAK, do you want to babysit for me?
Would that be bad?
I would give anything for a pedicure.
A little 'ME'time.
Ahh, yes that's what right now is, 'me' time... 9:40 in the pm kids are sleeping, hubs is watching playoff basketball, and I am sitting here BLOGGING, exhausted, and trying to figure out how I could rub my own neck.
I pray that I wake up in the morning with a new spirit.
I pray that God will lend me his Grace as I spend my 5th straight Saturday alone with the kiddos.
I also pray for some sunshine so I can send them outside to play!
Man there is a lot of whining going on here isn't there?
I think I better stop confessing and get some sleep before this gets ugly and you all don't want to come back again! :)
On a brighter note: I'm just going to try and remember that I can do ANYTHING for a season... I just can't do EVERYTHING, so I'm gonna cut myself some slack, and try and go with the flow a little bit better!