Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Quick Update...

Just wanted to quickly update. Matt is doing well. Feeling quite a bit better this evening, he even got out of bed to eat dinner and visit with his friend for a quick visit. If you are reading this right now wondering what in the heck I'm talking about you must have missed my last post... scroll down, or click here to read what happened that was... scary.

I apologize if this post isn't well written or doesn't make much sense, but to tell you the truth I've only had about 2 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours, and I am pretty exhausted. I knew I would feel better if I wrote this before I tried to fall asleep. We just want to thank those of you who have prayed for us, who have called to check on things, and for your friendship. So nice. These things do have a way of putting things into perspective. My perspective at this moment is that of thankfulness. I am just so thankful that he is OK, and doing well. It is so easy for these simple accidents to turn out so tragically. We hear about it every day. We just never think anything bad like that will ever happen to us, or to those we love. Or at least we hope not. And we don't think about these things until.... well, when something happens.

So, for tonight, I will try and turn my brain off, go to sleep, and thank God that things didn't turn out much worse than they could have. It's weird, everything happened about 24 hours ago. Yet I am still having a hard time not thinking about every event that happened last night, and every picture from the whole thing over and over in my head. I must sleep now, things will be fresh tomorrow. Good night.


About 7:30 yesterday evening the phone rang. I was just getting the girls to bed, and Matt was out playing basketball in his city league team he plays for. On the other line was Lindsay, Matt's buddies wife. The caller ID was Matt's cell phone. I was confused. She said Mandy, it's Lindsay, there's been an accident, it's Matt, we've called 911 you need to get here quick. My heart leaped out of my chest. I called my mom... Bella was standing right there... I didn't mean to panic her, but I was panicked. I told her daddy got hurt, and I had to go. She started to cry. I said, he's going to be fine, I was hoping, because inside, I didn't know if it was a lie. My mom got to the house, I flew out of the house, I'm not even sure how I got to the school, but I did. When I got there I saw lots of flashing lights, two firetrucks, and a ambulance. Luckily Lindsay was waiting outside for me. I would have been there quicker but I had to wait for a train to pass... She took me to the back of the gym where the ambulance was. The door was locked. Could this get any worse? I wanted in. I wanted to see him, and to know what was going on. I felt so many emotions rolling up in me. I was trying to tell myself not to panic, panic doesn't do any good in these situations... We finally got in. There he was laying on a stretcher, strapped down, blood everywhere, neck brace on, and his eyes were glazed over. Oh, lord... please be with him.

The paramedics told me to go to the hospital, and get him checked in. I could do that. I called my mom, she said dad was waiting at the hospital in case I needed someone. I was glad. I was shaking, I still didn't know what was going on. I was just tying to be calm. Lindsay and Justin asked if I needed a ride. I said no, I would be fine. I was just hoping that was the truth. I drove to the hospital behind the ambulance. I still hadn't touched him, told him I was there, I wondered if he was scared. When we got to the hospital I went right to the ambulance, they said you can't be back here, go get him checked in..... WHAT, I want to see my husband. OK, I'll get him checked in... calm I told myself, calm. As I walked up I saw my dad sitting waiting for me. I gave the clerk our information, how ironic that two hours earlier we were just having a discussion on health insurance. I had told him, you just never know when an accident can happen. I'm not sure he was listening. He thinks he's super man, you know.

I got him checked in and finally they let me, and dad back to see him. He was acting really goofy, but he was awake. They said he split his head open pretty good, and that he had a concussion, but that he seemed OK. Thank God! They asked us to step out so they could make sure there wasn't anything wrong with his neck. They also did a cat scan to check his brain activity. All seemed OK they said. They let us back to be with him. There was a lot of blood, and the gash was bad. They put 12 titanium staples into his head, and sent us on our way... with strict instructions to not let him sleep more than four hours, and a whole list of things to watch out for.

As we were walking out he began to shake, I think he was in shock. I was glad dad was there to help me hold him, I'm not sure I could have on my own. We got him into the car... he was shaking bad. I took my sweater off, I put it around him, I put a baby blanket on him, and turned up the heat, everything I could think of. In truth I was scared. I remember doing the same thing when I was in labor both times, I know it's your bodies way of dealing with intense pain... shock. Dad and I got him home, and in bed. We spent a restless night, but he's OK, and he's here, and he's going to be fine, and I'm so thankful!

He's sleeping now, and I think rest will be what he needs most. Please pray that he recovers quickly, and that he continues to do well... I will keep you posted on how he's doing!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

trick or treat?

We went for our annual trick or treating downtown Saturday...

I'd like to introduce to you "Fancy Nancy & her Posh Puppy!"

Meritt, was absolutely giddy to get to put on her pink fuzzy "woof woof" costume...

And, Bella, what can I say? Pleased as punch to well...... be fancy, of course.

Meritt was also delighted to try her first candy, a tootsie pop sucker. I think she is the first person I know that actually found out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. Me personally have never had that much patience, but she was quite determined to finish it all, in fact I think she would have eaten the stick had we let her....

Being little is so much fun, especially when you get to play make believe!

Have a fabulously, stupendous, Halloween.... Woof Woof.
Fancy Nancy & Her Posh Puppy!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Being a Mom...

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle
of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was an Mom.
I got this from someone special in my email today,
I just thought that it was nice, and so very true!
Thought you might enjoy it too...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

my loves...

This is just a grouping of totally random cell phone pictures from adventures from the summer. I came across these today, and felt so happy that these are my loves, goofy and crazy as they are! Thought maybe they might make you smile too.

Monday, October 13, 2008

the pumpkin patch...

Every year in October, it is our tradition to find a nice day we can go out and pick some pumpkins. Today was the day, and it was a beautiful, sunny, October day! (I realized when I got there that my camera battery was very low, so I didn't capture as many pictures as I would have like to.... but none the less, it was a good day!)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Nothing Nice...

Remember the old saying if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all? That's where I'm at right now, which is why I haven't posted anything in close to two weeks. I can't seem to spit out what is on my heart because it just seems to come out as negativity. I don't want to be negative. I can't seem to get my feet planted firm into the ground, because every time I do something, or someone knocks me over. I want so badly to stay focused on the blessings in my life, to fill my life, heart, and spirit with the beauty that is all around me, rather than the bad. But, I'm struggling. I feel lonely, even though I am not alone. I feel overwhelmed by everyday duties, lost in the roles that I play in life. I feel stressed about the happenings of the world. I wonder, how to get through this life living to it's fullest potential, getting everything out of it that I want, realizing life is not a dress rehearsal... when the pressure of being my best for everyone else, shadows the person who is me. I have no idea why all of this is so hard to say or even harder to admit, but it's probably the perfectionist part of my personality. I like things neat, and clean, straight, and orderly, and when life feels crazy, unkempt, uncertain, and upside down, I don't know where to go. So, generally when I feel like this, I pray a lot, because at the end of the day he's the best friend I've got. He always understands, even when my craziness makes no sense, when other human beings don't have the time or compassion to lend the understanding I need. I go to him, because in that I find peace. I feel blessed in these times when life seems upside down, and when I have nothing nice to say, because I know everyday that I wake, I am given the gift of grace. I know I am not alone, there are many others out there struggling with their own stresses, their own worries, and their own life, especially in the times we are living in.... for all of you out there, I will keep you in my prayers, and I ask that you might hold me up in yours. I promise I'll be back to my little blog soon, as soon as I can find something nice to say! Hopefully it will be real soon!