last night...

Matt was off to his basketball game, the girls were in bed, and I thought maybe I would take a little quiet "me time". About 5 minutes in my bathtub and I heard the wails from upstairs.... Bella came down to inform me that her sister really had to go potty. (this is a new thing, Meritt has recently decided that she needs to "big poop" all of the time) I told her I would be up shortly, to go back up. In the next five minutes the noises from upstairs went from wails to hysterics. I threw my robe on, ran upstairs, and took Meritt to the potty. (she decided she needed the downstairs little potty, so off we went) (we sat for what felt like forever... nothing, OK Meritt time for bed. She came unglued!) So, I told Bella to go to bed, scooped Meritt up, and took her down to my old squeaky rocking chair. My on the go, busy, never quiet toddler laid quietly on my chest like that was all she needed in the world. While I could have been annoyed that I wasn't having the evening that I had planned, that my husband wasn't there to help, I didn't feel that at all. I sat in that quiet moment, and watched my baby girl, knowing that these moments are fleeting. Her hands will only be little like this for a short time, I will only be able to rock her to sleep for a little while longer, and the thought that this may be the last time that she lets me rock her like a baby, was all I could think. We sat there in the quiet dark for over an hour, with only the sound of the squeak of the rocking chair, and the deep breaths of a sleepy baby. It was better than any night I could have ever planned! Maybe we both needed that?!!