I had an interesting conversation with my friend yesterday. She told me something that I have heard over and over in my life, and yet I still don't get it. She said that she had to admit to me that before we really 'knew' each other, she always saw me as perfect, all together, stuck-up, and intimidating.
{She didn't say these things to hurt me. And if you're reading this friend you didn't hurt me... you'll see where I'm going with this soon! promise:)} She went on to say that she always was intrigued by me, but she never knew what to think of me. Now that she knows me... we kind of had a good laugh over the 'perfect' image she once had. She now knows that I am totally human, totally flawed, totally imperfect. She also said she was so surprised to find out how totally down to earth I am, and how I am not stuck up even in the least when you get to know me. I went on to tell her that the reason people often think I'm stuck up is because I am easily intimidated in social settings. Possibly because people have always gotten the wrong impression of me, even since I was little. I have no idea why I come off that way. I have no idea why I would ever intimidate anyone. The funny thing is I am probably the last person on earth to ever think of myself as any better than ANYONE else, and that's the God's honest truth!
Why is it as girls and women we can become defined by what other's think, and often times, by what we think of ourselves?
As a mama of girls, I worry about such thoughts. I wonder at what age, or at what junction someone said something to us, or about us, and it changed us forever. Will that happen to my girls? Is there a way to protect them from that? Is there a way to teach them that they are wonderful and perfect just the way they are?
Anyone else out there reading this ever think about the same things? I mean did someone tell you when you were little that you were a tom-boy, and you became one? Did someone tell you that you weren't very smart, and began to believe it? Did someone call you chubby, and it turned into a weight issue?
I was reading one of my favorite blogs tonight
from the Nato's and she was talking about how we view each other from blog to blog. How we often times see each others lives as more perfect than they actually are. We often times compare ourselves to other women, other mothers, other wives, because we don't know their whole story. We often times, don't think about other women as people who feel and deal with the same things that we do. Why is that? Why don't we unite together and for each other? We isolate ourselves from may people that could potentially be a wonderful friend to us all because we are so intimidated by what we think others are. Why do we always seem to compare ourselves and our lives against others and often times think that we are not enough?
Because we are enough...No we're not perfect.
No we don't always have it all together.
But inside finding out who we are, we can come to realize something beautiful -- that in our imperfections, God has made us totally perfect in his image. It's time we really start to believe that.
Can you imagine what we could be if we could find ways to encourage each other to believe the best in ourselves? What could happen? What kind of great friendships could we form? What kind of legacy could we pass on to our daughters?
Jami over at the Nato's talked about how often times as we read each other's blogs we lurk in the shadows. We look from the outside in, and never take a moment to encourage the woman that we are reading about. Hmmm, that one hit home. I am so bad about this. I like to read my blogs. I have become attached in a weird way to these women, and families I read about, and yet they don't even know me. Weird?! Yes, maybe. I am going to choose to look at all of these thoughts I'm pondering as a new challenge in my life!!! I am going to try and not compare myself against others. Not to presume or assume, I know someone that I don't. I am going to remind myself that all of us mama's out there are all in the same club. We all have hairy days. We all have our own gifts. One's gift maybe being crafty, the next an amazing multi tasking homeschooling mother, it doesn't diminish me because those aren't my same gifts. What a great opportunity to ENCOURAGE someone else, and let them know how GREAT you think they are.
Fellow bloggers out there reading this, does it not make your day to receive a comment??? I know it does me. I have often wondered why I don't get more comments... I have often times gone right back to that old stand by of thinking that other people don't like me or relate to me... I think it's time to look back inward at myself, and realize it's because I'm not out there reaching out. So, I'm going to try and do better. For those of you out there reading this that aren't bloggers... reading out there in the shadows, if you read something you want to say something about, SAY it... start a conversation, make a new friend, ENCOURAGE someone else, because it just might make their day!
