do you ever feel...

...good at nothing?
Unable to balance it all? I love this time of year for it's weather, and loveliness. I hate this time of year for it's absolute chaos it brings to my life. School starts, summer ends, the shop is absolute madness; there are always more to do's than time. I hate that feeling.

For the most part I've done pretty well keeping my head above water, but today... I feel good at nothing. I feel like the worst mother on the planet, and well, is there anything worse than that? Both girls were pretty much unglued from get go today. To make things worse... it couldn't be one of those days that I went at their pace. It was one of those days they had to go at my pace. My pace you ask??? What's that? That would be the pace of a chicken with her head cut off. Clucking around trying to find it. We've got a huge event at the store this weekend, and still TONS of inventory that we are trying to muck through. I had an appointment with a sales rep, and a schedule to make. In the midst, guess what I forgot? My eldest daughter at school. My heart sinks. I was there 15 minutes late, she was the last kid standing, and there were tears in her eyes. I bought her a brownie... it was the least I could do. Then more work, and Open House Night at school. Didn't have time to feed them dinner first, so we went unfed. BIG MISTAKE. Never take unfed, tired, cranky kids anywhere... EVER. After we went to dinner; also a BIG MISTAKE because by this point no amount of food would have solved our problems.

I lectured them the whole way home on how bad they acted, how disappointed I was, and how I may never take them out into public again. I think I should have listened to my own lecture, or had gotten one of my own....
It should have gone something like this: YOU ACTED LIKE A BAD MOTHER, I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE SENSE GOD GAVE YOU TO KNOW YOUR CHILDREN COULDN'T HANDLE ANYMORE TODAY. YOU MAY NEVER BE ALLOWED TO MAKE DECISIONS ON WHEN YOUR KIDS CAN GO OUT INTO PUBLIC PLACES AGAIN... GET A GRIP LADY.

When will I ever learn?
When will I ever learn my own limits?
When will I ever learn my kids limits?
When will this week be over?
When oh when can life get back on a routine?

I need prayer.
Seriously.
Don't laugh...
I am serious.
It works you know...

It should probably start something like this: God please give me the strength and grace to get me through this week........... I am in your hands... Please forgive me for being such a rotten mama, please help me be a better mama tomorrow..............

Thank goodness tomorrow's a new day!
With blank pages, and endless possibility!