Friday, January 18, 2008


So, it is my new years resolution to try and find "balance" in my life this year. To try and find a good balance between work, the girls, Matt, myself, family, and friends. For some reason I find this hard. It's been a challenging week. Meritt is busy, very busy, and very shall we say clingy to me. On one hand what a horrible problem... right? to be loved an adored by the sweetest thing on planet earth. But, at the same time, I have a need, a need to be organized, get things done, be on some kind of routine, & feel some sort of sense of self. Latley all that seems to be lost. No one ever tells you when you become a mother that you for a while will give up all else. Mind you I'm sure this would not stop one from becoming a mother, but until you walk in those shoes I don't know if you are prepared. How does one find this sort of "balance" so she is good for those she loves, and good to what she wants out of life, but still knows the person in the mirror looking back at her? I'm fairly sure that this is an age old question that women have been asking for years, but I think women must forget these feelings, (maybe it's like how a woman forgets the true pain of child birth, so she will do it again) or there would be more support out there for such a thing. Definitely more understanding! I don't know for sure what I am going to do to get this "balance" I seem to be needing so much, but I can ensure you I am doing a lot of praying about it, trying to look within at what is in my heart, and trying to remind myself to not worry if I don't get anything done in a day other than rock my baby, read books, help color pictures, cuddle my kids, feed my family, change poopy diapers, and generally nothing else. My question is.... is okay to want a "balance" of all that you love & need? Is it okay to want it all? Or is it even possible?


Jacin said...

I've been looking for that balance myself, and I just can't seem to find it. And, I think, Joy has been asking herself a lot of the same things you're asking yourself right now ...

I think, most likely, it all comes down to managing time well and determining your priorities and, personally, I've never really been able to master that.

For me, I've got things that I know that I have to do, but there's a twinge of guilt that I feel any time that I tell Joy 'No, I can't do that for you right now' or have to tell Jacob, 'Sorry, buddy, I can't play with you right now,' you know ... ?

So something always seems to get pushed back or put off or just plain ignored, and that can be intensely frustrating for those of us with who want to be able to do it all.

If you find a good balance, be sure to let me know.

BellaRose said...

Thank you for leaving me feedback! And thank you for the understanding! I know that this "balance" thing is something in which we are ALL looking for, but for what ever reason always seem to be coming up short! I was so excited I think you are my 2nd comment, it's nice to know what I write is being read by someone! I was also happy to find your blog, it will keep me updated on happenings in your lives! Thank you again for writting, I look forward to more comments in the future... take care.