Wednesday, December 1, 2010

holy germs batman...

Clearly a germ-a-phobic person such as myself should not be raising a three year old girl named Meritt, that just happens to have a cold.

This kid does not get how germs are spread... and once again God is S T R E T C H I N G ME!!! But, the stories are funny none the less, so I thought I would share so you could laugh at my misery.

Yesterday as I was in the bathtub, I asked Meritt to brush her teeth. As in anything I give her directions to do, she didn't do what I asked. Instead she grabbed MY tooth brush. I immediately said 'Meritt please don't touch my tooth brush, you're sick and that's how we spread germs'... she says, 'Okay, Mama'. Good deal! Or not... The next thing I know (as I am washing my hair - eyes closed) I open my eyes to see Meritt standing over me, with my tooth brush pressed up against her snotty little nose, telling me that my tooth brush smells, Soooo minty and good. AWESOME. YUCK. YUCK. YUCKITY YUCK! So, I do what any good germ-a-phobic person would do, I sanitized it with Clorox, and then put it in the dishwasher on sanitize mode. Matt comes home later and says, why is your tooth brush in the dishwasher, I just shake my head and say, don't ask!

While at the Dollar Tree finding some little stuff, Meritt sneezes... you know the kind.... the snot flying everywhere kind. The there's so much snot what do we do kind. I go to get the tissues or the boogie wipes from my purse to clean her up, hmmm well guess who went through my purse and took them out??? Yup, you guessed it, the same little 3 year old that is standing in front of me with snot EVERY WHERE! So, what's a mom to do? I get the Target ad out of my purse and proceed to try and clean her up with that. Except there's too much. I then tell her, to use her sleeve, and that we're out of there. The lady shopping next to us in the card isle that is trying not to be obviously watching, just looks at me with horror on her face, grasps her cart, and gets the heck away from us! Ohhh yes, I am definitely going to get the mother of the year award this year!!!

So, now I have two kids with colds, a dad who is home sick, a husband with swollen glands, and me with a scratchy throat. Can anyone just keep their grubby germs to themselves??? I DON'T LIKE to SHARE......... GERMS. Maybe I should ask Santa for a has mat suit for Christmas! Ha - it probably still wouldn't work. Darn kids;) What's a Mama to do?

4 comments:

Krista said...

Since I'm home with my own sick child today this really made me giggle!

Anonymous said...

You need a hazmat suit, what about me, I don't even have a scratchy throat, yet all of ya all are making me twitch!!!! I don't think there is enough bleach in the world for this one. Just be prepared, I can't ward them off for ever. But that was a really good laugh. Makes me feel a lot better about my germaphobia. Love you all anyway, even if you do snot on me. Mom

Myya said...

Oh my goodness it spreads like wildfire doesn't it!

Shana said...

That is hilarious! I once was a germaphobe before I had kids. I had to wear rubber gloves to cut up chicken or touch ground beef and I couldn't take out the garbage without gloves either!