two years later...

i have no idea if there is any one out there still checking on this blog. 

but, if you are, here we are, two years later...

not for the squeamish...

Not only is this what I feel like today, it's what I look like too!
You should have seen the look I got from the preschool teachers today dropping off and picking up Meritt at school.
If I had more energy I would have said, this is what a mom looks like after being up for two nights in a row with the flu going through...

(warning this post is not for the squeamish!)
Thanksgiving night was Meritt.
Night before last was Bella.
Vomit everywhere...
I have a question... why does the flu always hit in the middle of the night?
Why do kids always throw up in their beds?
Awful I tell you.
Like a hurricane of puke hit.
Ah, yes. These are the glamorous moments of life!
Good thing is, the extraordinary love God gives us for our children provides us the strength and fortitude to not only clean up the puke hurricanes, but also hold their hair back while they throw up time after time for 12 hours straight.

If that wasn't glamourous enough... after all of that,
Last night was my turn... luckily, I did not throw up in my bed.
I made it to the porcelain god, thankfully!

So, let's re-cap in the last two weeks: I had a piercing pain in my stomach that ended up being a ruptured ovarian cyst that landed me on bed rest for a few days... then I mustered the energy to put together Thanksgiving dinner for 12. In the middle of the night after Thanksgiving was over and all cleaned up, Meritt awoke to vomit EVERYwhere... she laid on our floor by our bed and vomited all night long. She recovered fairly quickly. We convinced ourselves she must have eaten too much Thanksgiving dinner and dessert, and cleaned up the horror and moved on, praying that it wasn't a virus. Monday night, Bella vomited half asleep & half awake in her bed, got up vomited two more times on the way down to us. Woke us at 1am with vomit dripping from her poor little pathetic shaking body... we put her in the bath, cleaned up the hurricane, made her a bed in the basement, and stayed awake with her cleaning her bowl out every 20 minutes or so while she got sick all night long. By morning, I wasn't sure if I was just exhausted or getting it too, but I made it through the day sanitizing and caring for sick B and bored feeling much better M... by the time Matt got home, I was done. By 8 I was vomiting too, and here we are today... feeling much like that pug eyed face above. Praying that God knows that this is all I can handle for a while.

So, if you feel so inclined, would you pray that this is the end of the sick people in our home?!!!
It's Christmas time. I have a retail store that needs me... and a slew of other things that really need my attention. Please let this be the last day, I look like my pug dog with my hoodie on my head. I can't take anymore!!!

flippity flop feelings...

 I have approx. 1 and a half days at home with my girls before I work umpteen (8) days straight, we head for a quick labor day weekend getaway, and then it's BACK TO SCHOOL.

I am really not sure if I should feel sad (which I kind of am). Or be happy that we will get back to a routine, and friends, and art projects sent home, and homework, and back to school nights, and this and that, and the other. My feelings are flippity flopping all over the place!

My kids are getting so big, and I sometimes wish I could just freeze them where they are. ENJOY them just as they are in this moment, for a little bit longer. I guess, in a sense,  Summertime gives me this. It gives me endless days just them and me. No routine, just fly by the seat of our pants... I like it!

The girls (well Bella mostly) is getting antsy (actually crabby) - so I know that she is ready to be back at it! She gets bored easily if she isn't kept busy, so I know that Summer and it's easiness has begun to get to her.

One more year of preschool for Meritt, and boy I am going to SAVOR this year! My last year, with a kid at home (at least part of the day) and then she's off to get all grown up too!

Third grade and the second year of preschool, how did all this go by so fast?
They are getting too big I tell you...
What's next college?

Well, I guess, all I can do, is just enjoy them, and this lovely Summer while I can!

I need to talk... is that okay???

I know that I promised that when I got my new computer that I would be doing so much more blogging, and here we are a week later, and nothing.

Sort of feeling like a total blogger failure. To be truthful I have been so busy every waking hour of the day, that when I do get a chance to stare at the screen of my computer it's usually in the hours I should be sleeping.

Okay, so that is enough excuses for one post, I'll just move on to tell you what's going on...

Work.
Home.
Kids off school and looking for summertime fun.
Yard Work.
Pets.
Friends.
Visiting Relatives.
All really good things.

#1. Work: We made it through Crazy Days (our annual summer sidewalk sale) that is literally CRAZY. Although, it wasn't as crazy this year. I am not sure if we are getting more organized, or if the economy may be a slight factor. Either way it went well, and we lived through it, and the girls had a great time with their babysitter for 3 days straight!

#2. Home: So we are beginning our count down to the homes tour that we are on July 30th... 17 days. Oh boy, there is a lot to do still. Although a lot has gotten done as well. Windows are getting painted and reglazed left and right. Screen doors and doors are getting fixed and painted. Next comes cleaning, cleaning,  and cleaning some more, and making this place look magazine like! :) NO PROBLEM! ;)

#3. Kids off school: Every year I am slightly nervous when school is over, because it's like, oh my gosh what am I going to do to keep these kids happy day and night week after week? Somehow it always works out, and somehow it always surprises me that I LOVE HAVING MY KIDS HOME for the Summer! They really are two of my favorite people. Despite the messes, occasional tantrums, and sisterly fighting, we have so much fun! We have been mostly just hanging out at home. We work in the garden together. There have been art projects, walks, and many trips to the library for books. Next Friday we will be meeting Matt's Mama half way to drop them off with her for 9 days so we can get all of our projects done. It will be nice to have them out of my hair while I get my projects done, but boy I'm gonna miss them. It's going to be WEIRD around here with only us old people and the animals!

#4. Yard Work: Well, we finally got our sprinkler system and irrigation system all in (around late May). Then began the quest to get the grass to grow back over all the trenches, and bald spots, and weeds, etc. All the flower beds are planted, and the four garden boxes are stuffed full of veggies and berries. Trying to keep up with the outside, the inside, and the kids, is keeping me really busy - but, I love it!

#5. Pets: Addiekat our oldest pet, wasn't looking so good about a month ago, in fact we weren't sure if she was going to make it. She had lost tons of weight (we weren't sure why) and was very lethargic. We were pretty much told that at 13 years old we could do testing on her, but there really wasn't a whole lot of point to it... So, we switched her food in a last ditch effort, and it seems to be working! We are so glad. Emma and Lola the doggies are loving laying on the patio in the sunshine daily. Buddy the young cat, is showing to be quite the outdoorsman, he likes to kill birds and mice, then bring us his catch to show off. THANK YOU Buddy! Just want I always wanted a dead bird at my feet! :) At least we won't have rodents!

#6. Friends: We have had a few opportunities to visit and have a few BBQ's with friends this summer which has been a nice break from the to-do lists. Looking forward to MORE of that... SOON. Play dates by the pool wound be good!

#7. Relatives: We had a quick visit from my Brother in June. It's always so good to see him, and the girls adore their Uncle Ansen! He has no kids so he loves to play with them and seems to have never ending patience, which may be why they adore him so much! We also got to visit with my Aunt Lee over the fourth of July. SOOOO good to see her. She hasn't been to Oregon for a visit since Matt and my wedding almost 11 years ago. She hadn't even met my girls before (except for photos) so it was fun to see them get to know one another! My mama was in heaven having her sis-in law around to hang with, and it gave us all a great excuse to have a few BBQ's in her honor. It was a great visit!

All of that = a whole lot of busy go go going and do do doing, but it's all really great! Have to admit, that I am looking forward to homes tour being over so we can do a few other things except for projects, however at the same time, it is so nice having these projects that have been looming over our heads getting done! It's going to be very fun! I am looking forward to sharing all the stuff we've done around here in the last 6 1/2 years!

Well, that about catches you up on all of our happenings...!
Can I ask you something... and please answer or I will feel super lame, what would you like to have me tell you about on here??? Any ideas I need some creative ideas to get me out of my blogging slump!

we've been under the weather...

This is what we looked like the day before the 'CRUD' as I've affectionately named it HIT. We were happy, we were carefree... I made the BIG mistake of saying something you should absolutely, never say, under ANY circumstances. That is... 'Man we haven't been sick for a really long time.' - 'Boy we've been lucky this year'. All I have to say is, BOY I'M STUPID! Never gonna say that again.

Because it must have heard it's call.
By the next day we were on the road to our whole family being:



The first Man down was miss Meritt. Who had more snot come out of her than I even knew to be possible. We needed a bucket to catch it!

Then came her sister, who got all sorts of crabby on us, because it was her Spring Break, and it wasn't FAIR.

(Tell me about it... FAIR is definitely not being cooped up in a house with two sick kids during Spring Break - I AGREE!)

The good news is, we had no real plans for Spring Break, so staying in the house wasn't too big of a deal, other than the sheer sanity factor.

The next Man down was Matt, who bless his heart got double ear infections, during his marathon work schedule. His eardrum burst, and now cannot hear, but still has to work 6 days a week around 11ish hours a day. Things have gotten so bad with his hearing, that he has been to the Doctor twice, is now on his second dose of antibiotics, and the girls at his work have had to resort to making BIG signs to hold up across the office for when they need his attention.

So, if your doing your math, that is two sick kids, during Spring Break, one sick husband gone all the time, and one mom left standing.

By this point anyone who knows us was too scared to even come by our home, for fear they would catch the 'CRUD'...

Yay. Fun TIMES!!!
By Saturday, the FOURTH MAN WENT DOWN.
YEP, I got sick too.
Thankfully by the weekend the children were better and my parents took pity on us, and would take the children to entertain them so we could sleep. Although they still wouldn't come in the house, can you believe that :)? How rude... (just kidding)

Mine has lingered all week, although I have now concocted a cocktail of cold medicines that make it easier to make it through the day. Let's see: I am taking, cough syrup, an inhaler, nasal spray, suddafed, aleve, and some vitamins. Seems to be at least making me feel semi human!

I apologize for not being a very good blogger lately.
I haven't been posting too regularly, and I have had nothing very exciting to share.
Sorry, but when the highlight of your day is nap time it doesn't leave you with much material to work with!

I'll try to come up with something great really soon!
I promise!!!
Anything you'd like me to talk about or show you... ask away. Give me a question or an idea and I'll do my best to answer it!

I hope you have been healthy and happy!

laundry...

...laundry is a never ending job at my house.

a while back I was reading a blog (i don't remember which one) it was one focused on living green. (which I'm all for) She was saying that to reduce water use in her house. Each family member has 3-4 outfits total, bathes twice a week, and re-uses towels for at least a week... they wash bedding once a month, and other 'necessary' items once a month as well.

Now, I'm sorry... I'm not trying to make a judgement here, but is that nuts?
While I can see how that would reduce water usage, and maybe even cure the never ending battle most of us moms face on keeping up with the laundry. But, whoa. I don't think I'd want to smell those sheets. Just sayin'

With my kids it almost seems impossible to keep them in the same outfit for an entire day. No matter how hard we seem to try, someone always gets dirty. Either with art supplies, food, playing outside, school, etc. As far as the bathing goes, we all do it everyday. The girls occasionally go a day in between, but usually every day. Towels, those last more than one use (most of the time). Sheets and bedding get washed every week... and then there's tea towels, doggy bedding, rugs, curtains, slip covers, and other 'stuff' that needs to be washed.

Between all of that there is always laundry to do. I don't really mind the washing, the folding is okay, but Ahhhh the putting it away, it kills me. Never ending I tell you.

Just about the time I think it's finally done. I turn around twice, and there it is again.

So, here is my question for you???
What's your laundry system?
Are you more like me or the green mom with 3 outfits each?... or are you somewhere in between?

My mom used to tell me, that when I had to do my own laundry someday that I wouldn't have nearly as much... boy was she wrong.

On the bright side, I have a lovely new washer and dryer that make my life much more lovely... and I am not doing laundry in a dungeon anymore. So, there is always a bright side to be thankful for!

Do you have some great laundry advice or system I need to know about? Or are you in the same boat I'm in?

to my valentine...

I have had the same valentine for the last 15 years...
Wow, I can hardly believe that.

Now you might think that the luster of love might extinguish over that many years...
But, it hasn't.
Sure Valentine's Day has changed a bit since the very first one we shared. The definition of romance has changed for us as we've evolved. Believe it or not, that doesn't mean that we don't have as much romance or as much love as we did in the beginning, when we had butterflies in our stomachs, and cupids dancing above our heads.



When we became parents, we had to redefine what romance was...
We had to find hidden little moments.
Quiet time to share.

Romance today exists more in knowing each other so well...
Not in a negative way, but in a positive way. The way he knows when to give a little extra because I need it, and I can't say it. The way we each know when the other needs a little space, or time to be, and not to push things. The way that he still looks at me, and I still look at him even after all of these years.



Our love has evolved into a family.
That has redefined what romance is...
But, not what love is, it has multiplied that!

There is more love under our roof, that it is pouring out the chimney top, and bursting out of the window panes.



love lives in every single day that we're together...
I don't need Valentine's day to remind me to say I love you, because everyday I share with Matthew, Bella, Meritt, Addiekat, Emma, Buddy, and Lola, are days spent filled to the brim with love.

Some days there's so much love I can hardly handle it. Even in those moments I know that my heart is full for all the love that God has given to me!

To my Valentine:
Even after all these years, I am so glad that you are mine!
XOXO, M

this and that...

Okay, so I know, I know, every time I post I talk about how I have been totally in a blogging rut. Yup, you've heard it, you know it, and guess what??? My story is still the same. I guess all of my creative juices have been used for other things lately... There is just not an ounce of creativity left to pour into this little Ole blog of mine. So sorry, all you who are still reading this, I really am!

So, since I haven't any of my own creativity these days, I will leave you with a few new blogs I have found that are fun and creative reads all their own!
Under the Sycamore
Hello, from the Nato's
The Reed Life
Deliciously Organic
Joy's Hope
enjoy!

For the next two weeks or so I am working everyday... long hours, getting ready for the holidays at our shop Emma Downtown. So, at the current moment all of my energy and time is going into re-doing a 2,000+ SQ foot shop into a wintry wonderland, doing all of my normal wifey and motherly duties, decorating 7 Christmas trees, (yes, 7)and basically staying upright. Prayers are always appreciated! :) I do love this time of year... I wouldn't still be doing this if I didn't!

feeling pretty crabby...

So, I had a pretty bumpy start to my morning. Which wasn't so good for me, but I thought might make you chuckle... possibly even just for the mear mental picture.

So, the morning was going fairly normally, we're back to our school routine. Getting up, getting everyone ready, dressed, hair combed, teeth brushed, breakfast eaten, lunches packed, so on and so forth. Matt left for work first, the girls and I leave to take Bella to school about 5 minutes after. When we go out to load up in the car to drive to school, Bella says, Oh NO mom, dad has my booster seat. Ahhhhhh. Okay, I'll call and see if he can swing back or see if Papa can bring us their seat real quick. PROBLEM. Cell phone not working. No service. WHAT? It's not as if we live in the sticks. Time is going by, still no phone working, it's too late to walk, and wet, and cold, and we are not dressed for it even if we ran. Ok, so I put the girls in the car (Bella sitting buckled without a booster :( ) We drive the back way 4 blocks, slow to mom and dad's to get a seat. I don't dare to drive to school without a seat, there are always alot of police around. I leave the car running, run through their sprinklers to get to the door. Ring the door bell... NOTHING. Knock... NOTHING. Run back through the sprinklers to get my keys. About this time, Dad opens the door in his robe half asleep. I run through the house to grab his keys muttering all my bad luck, he is confused, by the blur of crazy woman running by him. I go back through the sprinklers to get the seat from their van, can't get the slider door to open, go around back through the sprinklers to the drivers door, climb through grab the seat. Then go back through the sprinklers to put Bella's seat in so we can go to school. Chuck the keys at dad. Get back in the car, I am now SOAKING wet from the thighs down, Uggs and all. We get to school with three minutes to spare. Whooooooooooo. Not a great way to start the day. Feeling a little bit crabby. I hope the rest of the day is better than the morning, cause if not, it's gonna be one, wet, and crazy day! It's a little past nine in the morning, and I need a nap.

Summer's Ending Road (three years later)...

Three years ago (almost to date) I started Bella's Little Rose, with a post called 'Summer's Ending Road' at that time Meritt was 6 months old, and Bella was a little more than 4. Bella was about to begin her second year at preschool, I hadn't even started a baby book for Meritt, and time was flying by me way too fast. So, I decided to start a blog. A place I could capture those memories, pictures, thoughts, and funny little things that were happening in our lives. Here we are almost 3 years later, and my six month old is now 3 and a half, about to start her very first year of preschool, and my four year old is seven, (going on seventeen) about to embark on second grade. Whoa, how did that happen??? Where does all the time go? They will be grown before I blink my eyes...

We are now coming to another Summer's Ending Road. This Summer that I have gotten to spend with my girls has been priceless. I have loved every (well almost every) moment of being at home with them. I have enjoyed the walks, the talks, the playing, the reading, the adventures, and even all the other stuff in between. I will never again have a 3 1/2 and 7 year old.

We are soaking up the last few days of our Summer together. Just a few more days and we'll be back to school, back to our routines, homework, play dates, and work for me. I hope that when my girls look back at their childhood memories, they remember these sweet days that we've spent, doing nothing important, but everything that means something. I know when I look back, that's what I'll remember!

living with fibromyalgia...

Is there something so personal in your life that you don't even like to talk about it? For me it's something I've been living with since I was 15 years old. Somehow over the years I've thought that if I keep it wrapped up tight inside of me, like a secret, that maybe it will go away. The sad news is it won't. The good news is that as I'm getting older, I realize it's not always the healthiest thing to keep things locked up inside tight. Sometimes you need to let things out, even the really personal things. All week I've been thinking about writing this post, unsure of exactly what to say, or if I was ready to get something so personal, so private written out for whoever wants it, to read it. Then the thought occurred to me, that maybe if I am able to help someone out there understand better, sympathize more, or realize a little more, than maybe opening up this private part of myself might just be worth it.

When I was fifteen years old, I went through a traumatic and dramatic break up with my 'first love' (or so I thought at 15 years old). It wasn't your ordinary run of the mill break up. It was the kind that kind of shatters a person... makes them question life, and steals their innocence. I found out that the boy I loved was gay. I'm not going to go into all the details. They aren't real pretty.... While I could, there really is no reason to. But, you could probably see how this sort of news might shatter a young woman to her core.

While going through this traumatic/dramatic heart wrenching pain, I started developing other pain. Pain so severe that there were days I couldn't get out of bed. Days I couldn't move my neck, days I couldn't make a fist with my hand, days that just walking hurt. I'm pretty sure my parents were beside themselves. At first I'm sure they thought I was depressed. I probably was. But, over some time, I think they realized it was more than heart break, depression, or teenage angst. My mom decided to take me to the Doctor. Of course this was a little over 15 years ago, and I really think the doctor thought I might have been making the whole thing up for attention. With time things worsened. My mom was persistent... thankfully. We kept going to the doctor, trying new things, until finally I was sent to a specialist which could finally run the tests needed to find out what was wrong with me. It was fibromyalgia.

Once, we found a diagnosis, we were able to try new things. Different therapies that would help. We read, and found out ways to reduce my pain, and with time things got better... Throughout the years I would have flare ups - stress being the thing that flared the pain the worst, just like what started it all. But for the most part from the time I was 16 until I was about 24 or 25 I was able to manage the pain with the exercises, diet, and stress control that I had learned to make part of my life.

Sometime between 24 and after Meritt was born things grew increasingly worse. During my pregnancy with Meritt there were times the pain grew overwhelming. After Meritt was born it grew worse and worse. Add in some postpartum depression and I was entering a full melt down. Two kids, trying to work and run a business with two kids, a house in remodel mode, and other stresses of life proved to make my disorder take over me. By the time Meritt was 6 months old (and twenty whopping pounds) my entire left arm went numb with shooting pain, tingling, and a stabbing pain in my left shoulder that took over my life. It was pretty much all I could think about. It was near impossible to be myself, and wear my super woman cape with all that I was physically going through. I tried my very best to wear my happy face, but it grew increasingly exhausting and overwhelming. My doctor ran every blood test known to man, I had MRI's, and physical therapy 3 times a week. Not able to find another reason or answer. Unfortunately the physical therapy made things worse...

After much frustration, time, and pain, I convinced my doctor to let me try some new medications that had just been approved for fibromyalgia. That along with big life changes, started me on a road to recovery. After trying three different medications I was finally able to find the right one, and after more support from my mom (and dad, and husband, and friends) letting me a have a new normal at our business, and home, things got better. Not 'normal' or 'perfect' but survivable.

That was two and a half years ago. Early this summer at one of my regular check ups with my doctor to see how I was doing, I convinced him to try and let me get off my medication.

This is where we get to the 'living with fibromyalgia' today. While my doctor didn't think it was a great idea to give up the medication that I was finally able to find to relieve my pain, he also understood that at my young age I wasn't satisfied with the idea of being on medication for the rest of my life.

I started trying to wean off the medication by taking my pills every other day. The day I didn't take my medication, I was so sick, I could hardly survive my day. I had migraines, tingling throughout my body, dizziness, and disorientation. When that didn't work, we decided to try a lessened dose over time.

That brings us to today. Today, I am on a lessened dose, and the pain is overwhelming my body. My hips ache like I am an old woman, I wake up with stiffness in my hands and feet so bad it makes me want to cry the minute I wake up. My neck is tight, and my back aches like I have been in an accident.

This week has been really frustrating. For those of you who know me well, you know I'm stubborn. I don't like to give up. Going back on the meds feels like giving up. But the pain invades me, and I am not good for anyone in my life, even myself. So, after much prayer, and some wonderful talks with my loving and supportive husband, I have decided to go back and talk to the Doc on Monday, about a new plan.

This thing I live with, makes me mad. It makes me want to fight it and kick it's ass. Most days it kicks mine. It makes me sad to think it's never going to go away. It makes me mad that I will always have to deal with it. It enrages me that I can't keep it secret, wear my happy face, and it will disappear. But, it's my reality. It's life. I'm still blessed. It doesn't steal my amazing life. God's Grace abounds in my life daily. It can't tear me down, I just have to learn how to adapt. How to talk... how to let it out. How to communicate with those I love, so they know how to love me back. So, that's where we are today... tomorrow is another story.

tomorrow...

Needing to remind myself that life is beautiful. To laugh, take deep breaths, keep calm, and carry on!

My kids have been INSANELY cranky since we have gotten home from our little road trip. They are all out of sorts... which means in a nut shell, so am I.

I always know that I will pay for taking them away from home, getting off our routine, letting them stay up way past their bedtimes, and live like there are no rules... but what are you gonna do when you're on vacation visiting grandma's, aunties, and cousins?


All I know right now is...
Yikes, it's hard to be calm, loving, and patient, when someone is throwing the 676th fit for the day, is speaking in a non-stop whining tone, is crying, refusing to eat, is picking on their sibling just because, will NOT LISTEN unless being yelled at.

So, tonight, I'm gonna try something... if you are having one of 'those weeks' or 'those days' join in with me...

Deep breath.........
Happy thoughts.........

Remember, this too shall pass.
Tomorrow is a brand new day.
The blessings outweigh the crappy stuff.
Life really is beautiful!

Life is especially beautiful in the light of a new day, so as I prepare to lay my head down to rest. I will be praying that I will awaken with a new attitude... Fresh perspective... & An extra dose of love and patience for my little ones.

And heck if that doesn't work, I'm just gonna put a post it note on my forhead to remind myself!:) What do ya think?

the praise of summertime...

This morning as I was getting ready to go to the Willamette Celebration Valley Church service, I was listening to the radio. Dee Duke from the Jefferson Baptist Church came on with a tid bit to chew on for the day, and it kind of knocked me between the eyes. {funny how God works huh?} Anyway, he said, God doesn't want us to be anxious for anything, and that when we are we are directly disobeying God. Hmmmm hello, is that me, yes! He said give your worry and your anxiousness to God, and trust that he will take care of you.

So, today, that is what I am working towards. Not going to say I have it all figured out... this letting go, letting God stuff, is HARD. But, I have to admit being anxious and worried about all the stuff going on in my life doesn't do me any service. It does me no good. It doesn't make me get all my 'to-do's' done any faster, better, or more efficiently. Actually, just the opposite. The worry zaps my energy, it makes me feel tired, and unable to cope. So, I'm taking a deep breath, letting go of the worry, giving God my anxiousness, and trusting that he will take perfect care of me! Time to enjoy the process. Enjoy the day, the season, and the blessings that overflow around me, if I'm willing to see them!

{Still working on road trip photos, they will be up this week!}

feeling overwhelmed...

Just thought I would check in with my blog and my blog friends out there. We are home, and have been home for two days from our road trip, and now, I'm a bit overwhelmed. I've been meaning for the last two days to download ALL of the photos from our trip and write about our great trip to California to visit Matt's wonderful family. But, it just hasn't happened.

There isn't enough time in the day I've decided.
There aren't enough days in the week, enough weeks in a month, and enough months in a year to get everything done, and accomplished, that I have to do on my plate.

My brain is spinning tonight...
Too many things to do, and I'm not even sure where to begin.
There is a very long to do list for the week(s) ahead!

The only thing I do know tonight is that I cannot wait to get recharged at the Willamette Celebration in the morning! Tomorrow the whole Willamette Valley is getting together for a church service. It's gonna be AWESOME!!! I need so badly to go and get centered by worshiping and praising God!!! I know that as soon as I do all of my feelings of being overwhelmed will be a distant thought.



Psalm Chapter 61:2
From the end of the earth will I call unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

why, do some people feel the need?

Hi there blog peeps... Bear with me I'm in need of a blogging vent.
Let me set the story up...
It's Saturday, day three of Crazy Days at our shop, it's been 95+ degrees for three days. (Three grueling days of very long, hard, exhausting work.) (Crazy Days is our once a year sidewalk blowout sale... it is just like it's name, CRAZY!) Anyways, I'm out on the sidewalk working, trying to help customers, while this lady (that by the way I have never met let alone seen) walks up to me with bubbly excitement, rubs my belly, and asks me how far along I am?!

Ahhhh, WHAT? I'll I could do was smile oddly and say "no, no, ahhhh no"... and all she could say was well, you are so tiny...

What I really wanted to say was, so tiny except for my BELLY that you thought was big enough to house a child? Thanks lady, I wasn't feeling gross enough today, after three 10 plus hour days on my feet in this blasted heat. Now, I need you, a perfect stranger to make me feel like crap. THANKS. Oh, and by the way... I've already birthed two children, and well there is only so much a person can do to keep taunt after being stretched past maximum capacity! OKAY?! It's called GRAVITY!!!!

Why do people do stuff like that? Why do people that don't know one gosh darn thing about you feel some need to ask personal things. As if I was pregnant, I would want everyone on the sidewalk at Crazy Days to find out that way. Also, why did a perfect stranger to me feel the need to touch my stomach when she had no idea if I was prego or not? Too bad my tummy doesn't have teeth it could have bitten her over zealous hand right off.

You can tell I'm not wound up about this right?
It's funny someone can point out the one flaw on your body you are the MOST self conscience about and it sends you right to the moon. I know logically I shouldn't let this bother me, really I do. I get she was a stranger. She did the unthinkable thing that you always think you should never do. I'm sure she felt terrible. But, it bothers me. ON SO MANY LEVELS.

These are the kind of little comments that make women do crazy things... From girlhood and beyond. Why do women do these things to each other? I mean really??? We should be aliened as sisters all on the same side, in understanding that we all have feelings, insecurities, stories, history, and hearts. We should support one another not tear each other down. RIGHT?

So, let's take this little story/ranting/venting as a lesson. Lesson no.1 don't ask personal questions to someone you don't know on a personal level. Lesson no. 2 NEVER ever, under any circumstance ask a woman if she is expecting a child unless you are 110% sure. Lesson no. 3 and this may be the most important of all the lessons we're going to learn about tonight, ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. Lesson no. 4 be humble, be kind, and for heavens sake be loving all the time!

Thanks for letting me get that all off my chest I feel like a million times better!

we missed it this year...

While yes, it's the fourth of July... I'm afraid we missed the festivities around our parts this year. Ooops. Maybe next year.

We are knee deep in getting ready for our yard sale at the end of the month. I just have to state... it isn't that fun to go through old junk you don't want anymore. Nor is it all that fun to spend the fourth of July cleaning out the attic, when you would rather be doing just about anything else.

On the bright side, we have now cleaned out our whole storage room and half of our attic. A wee bit more to do and we'll be organized. Any of you out there looking for good baby/toddler stuff. Whoo Eeee do we have some for you!

I hope you did something more fun than we did! But, on the plus side we did attend two BBQ's this weekend, and have been having tons of fun with our new little fur ball Buddy, and that's pretty fun right?!

Happy Fourth of July All!

our new addition...

Yup, I'm a sucker... and so is daddy. Meet our new addition to our family. (Name yet to be decided) She turned out to be a he, so we're back to the drawing board for names, any ideas? He's pretty sweet isn't he?!

i need help, and quick...

Here's what happened:

The girls and I were waiting in a checkout line, and we got to talking. Talking about our upcoming yard sale we're having. They want to have a lemonade stand. After thinking about the idea I'm great about it, but I want them to donate the money, and not keep it. (because there is nothing they NEED) (because I want them to learn about giving to someone or something else) After giving this some thought, I decided to mention and suggest they give their earning to Safe Haven, our local animal shelter. They are both crazy for animals (as all kids are I'm sure) I know that this is a charity that can actually have meaning for them. So anyway, as we were in the checkout line, I made my suggestion, unsure of how my idea would be accepted. Much to my surprise, there was no hesitation or resistance, I was met with excitement at the idea. So, while we were already close by Safe Haven, I decided the best way to answer the questions accurately, would be to go visit, the shelter, and the animals.

So, as we got into the car we had an in depth conversation about what to expect, and then it was off to Safe Haven for a visit.

I have to say as an animal lover myself, it was heartbreaking to see how many sweet animals are in need of love, and a place to call home.

So, you know what comes next right???
We saw a kitty.
A sweet little kitten, that I think may have our name on it.
I had told Bella last summer that we could think about an outside cat, one of these summers when they were a little older.

But, we left the shelter this afternoon without any fights, begging, or even a tantrum.

As we were driving home, Bella asked some really deep thinking questions. I was actually really impressed. After a while in the car, she asked me if she could save her money for a kitten for the "whole family". I told her that was something we would have to discuss as a family, and definitely talk over with daddy!

Here's the plus sides:
~I would love my kids to have the opportunity to learn to nurture and care for something that was dependant of their care.
~I raised many, many kittens growing up, and it really helped me learn responsibility.
~Bella has been an amazing kid lately, did amazingly in school this last year, and rarely if ever asks for anything.
~The shelter is having a "sale" on adoptions this holiday weekend.
~Bella already had enough $ to buy it, while the sale is going.
~The shelter provides, microchip, spaying, and vaccinations with the adoption.
~Adopting an animal that might otherwise not find a home feels like a great thing to do!
~The little kitty we fell in love with is SO SWEET.



Here's the downside:
~Not sure we need anything else to take care of.
~It's one more mouth to feed.
~Trying to decide whether to put heart before head, or head before heart.

So, can you see my dilemma??? I need advise, and thoughts on this matter ASAP! Please help... what should I do? Do I give my kids this opportunity, as I was able to have growing up, or do I play it safe, and say enough is enough??? I am so bad. I always feel like there is always more room for more to love. Help, what's a mama to do?

happily grateful...

Do you ever wake up plain old happy?
More aware of the little things...
This morning as I awoke, I was overwhelmed with this sense of gratefulness.
I am just so happy for this life that God has given me.
My blessings overflowing.
I am more than thankful for this!


I am loved, saved, and forgiven, by Jesus.
Each and everyday is new, full of fresh possibilities!
I have an amazing husband, who is my partner in this life. I am so lucky for that.
I have two amazing little girls, who bring me more joy than I ever knew existed.
I live in my dream home... it wraps it arms around me and gives me comfort.
I have wonderful, involved, and supportive parents.
An extended family that are my roots as well as my wings.
Friends who love me.
Chance and opportunity to be and do what ever I want each day.

I am just so happily grateful for my life.
I am grateful even for the chaos, the craziness, and the stresses.
God is so good.
The sun is shining down on us today, what will we make of it?

to whom it may concern...

Just thought I would let anyone out there that wants to know that we decided to ditch our landline phone. So, if you need to get ahold of us you will need to contact our cell phones. If you need those numbers drop me an email or a comment, and I will get it to you!