it's a home not a house...

Getting ready to put our house on the historical homes tour this summer (the end of July to be exact) is making me feel the pressure for my home to be a perfect house... but it's not because there are 4 people, 2 doggies, and 2 kitties who live their life fully underneath it's roof.

It would be super easy for me to get overwhelmed by making everything perfect for the big day. Instead I keep repeating this sentence over and over to myself as I have those kind of feelings creep in... 'it's a home not a house'.

It's a place where the dogs have scratched claw marks into all the doors.
It's a place where the young cat has eaten his way into all the new screening on the doors.
It's a place where there a smudgy little finger prints on walls and windows.
It's a place where cob webs often live.
It's a place where new grass is struggling to grow.
It's a place where there are weeds in the garden.
It's a place where kids play.
It's a place where food gets spilled.
It's a place where the laundry is never all done.
It's a place where there isn't possibly enough time in a day to get it all done.

But...
it's also a place where...





So, while I really do want everything to look amazing on show day...
I also never want to lose sight that our house is not just a house, it's a home!

looking forward...

So first I have to say thank you for listening to me confess, and whine, and have a little pity party in my last post. It was needed. So thanks for the understanding and love. I realize we all feel those same exact things, I guess that's why I feel totally comfortable confessing it all to you!

No lying last week was ROUGH, it was TOUGH, I barely made it through... but alas, I did! Here we are, days later, and the fog has lifted, and my hormone levels have mostly gone back to their normal levels, and I am once again my own, clear thinking self! Yay, hallelujah. Thank goodness each day is new, and that we can leave yesterdays problems behind us.

I convinced my husband to beg to get a few days off, in promise of me taking him to do something lovely and special to celebrate his birthday. So, I am excited that we are going to get four whole days to spend together! I am letting my kids skip school (don't tell anybody) and we are going to spend some good old fashioned family time! I had a trip planned but unfortunately the snow levels made us cancel those plans, so now it's on to plan B... or maybe at this point we're on to plan E or maybe even F. But, no matter how you slice it, we're going to be together.

Do you want to hear the really good news????
I treated myself to a pedi last night! I called, I made the appointment, and I went, and it was great! The best part was that the spa I go to was running a special for $20 dollar pedi's - YIPPIE!

The other good news is, I get to go get a hair cut on Thursday. I haven't had a hair cut since before Christmas... no I'm not kidding. I don't have long hair that is able to go months without a cut either... nope, I have a high maintenance cut that needs tending to! So, thank the LORD on HIGH that I will go get some of this MOP cut down in one more day! - DOUBLE YIPPIE!!!

Here's to looking forward...
to all kinds of happy things ahead!

look for the rainbow!

source

It has been rainy, cold, snowing, drizzling, windy, or yucky here for a L O N G time. I am pretty over this weather. It's March. I'm ready for some sunshine. Some warmth. I would like to get out in my garden and dig in the dirt. My kids are more than ready to play outside for longer than 10 minutes, and even the animals are getting a bit stir crazy.

According to the weather man, I don't think my wish is coming true any time soon, so I'm needing to see the bright side of things instead. I'm thinking some hot tea, a cozy blanket, a cat nap, and some cuddles with my oh so lovey lovey doggy Lola. So, maybe rainy days aren't all bad. I love that they give you an excuse to throw on Uggs, turn up the heat, cozy in the house, and NEST! I have a few hours to enjoy all of that, and then I will have 4 girls inside my house for a play date! Maybe we'll make rainbows??? What do you think? That might make us feel a little sunnier on a cool, rainy, March day!

Happy Friday, I hope you too look for the rainbows in life and forget about the rain!

encourage...

I had an interesting conversation with my friend yesterday. She told me something that I have heard over and over in my life, and yet I still don't get it. She said that she had to admit to me that before we really 'knew' each other, she always saw me as perfect, all together, stuck-up, and intimidating.

{She didn't say these things to hurt me. And if you're reading this friend you didn't hurt me... you'll see where I'm going with this soon! promise:)}

She went on to say that she always was intrigued by me, but she never knew what to think of me. Now that she knows me... we kind of had a good laugh over the 'perfect' image she once had. She now knows that I am totally human, totally flawed, totally imperfect. She also said she was so surprised to find out how totally down to earth I am, and how I am not stuck up even in the least when you get to know me. I went on to tell her that the reason people often think I'm stuck up is because I am easily intimidated in social settings. Possibly because people have always gotten the wrong impression of me, even since I was little. I have no idea why I come off that way. I have no idea why I would ever intimidate anyone. The funny thing is I am probably the last person on earth to ever think of myself as any better than ANYONE else, and that's the God's honest truth!

Why is it as girls and women we can become defined by what other's think, and often times, by what we think of ourselves?

As a mama of girls, I worry about such thoughts. I wonder at what age, or at what junction someone said something to us, or about us, and it changed us forever. Will that happen to my girls? Is there a way to protect them from that? Is there a way to teach them that they are wonderful and perfect just the way they are?

Anyone else out there reading this ever think about the same things? I mean did someone tell you when you were little that you were a tom-boy, and you became one? Did someone tell you that you weren't very smart, and began to believe it? Did someone call you chubby, and it turned into a weight issue?

I was reading one of my favorite blogs tonight from the Nato's and she was talking about how we view each other from blog to blog. How we often times see each others lives as more perfect than they actually are. We often times compare ourselves to other women, other mothers, other wives, because we don't know their whole story. We often times, don't think about other women as people who feel and deal with the same things that we do. Why is that? Why don't we unite together and for each other? We isolate ourselves from may people that could potentially be a wonderful friend to us all because we are so intimidated by what we think others are. Why do we always seem to compare ourselves and our lives against others and often times think that we are not enough?

Because we are enough...
No we're not perfect.
No we don't always have it all together.
But inside finding out who we are, we can come to realize something beautiful -- that in our imperfections, God has made us totally perfect in his image. It's time we really start to believe that.

Can you imagine what we could be if we could find ways to encourage each other to believe the best in ourselves? What could happen? What kind of great friendships could we form? What kind of legacy could we pass on to our daughters?

Jami over at the Nato's talked about how often times as we read each other's blogs we lurk in the shadows. We look from the outside in, and never take a moment to encourage the woman that we are reading about. Hmmm, that one hit home. I am so bad about this. I like to read my blogs. I have become attached in a weird way to these women, and families I read about, and yet they don't even know me. Weird?! Yes, maybe. I am going to choose to look at all of these thoughts I'm pondering as a new challenge in my life!!! I am going to try and not compare myself against others. Not to presume or assume, I know someone that I don't. I am going to remind myself that all of us mama's out there are all in the same club. We all have hairy days. We all have our own gifts. One's gift maybe being crafty, the next an amazing multi tasking homeschooling mother, it doesn't diminish me because those aren't my same gifts. What a great opportunity to ENCOURAGE someone else, and let them know how GREAT you think they are.

Fellow bloggers out there reading this, does it not make your day to receive a comment??? I know it does me. I have often wondered why I don't get more comments... I have often times gone right back to that old stand by of thinking that other people don't like me or relate to me... I think it's time to look back inward at myself, and realize it's because I'm not out there reaching out. So, I'm going to try and do better. For those of you out there reading this that aren't bloggers... reading out there in the shadows, if you read something you want to say something about, SAY it... start a conversation, make a new friend, ENCOURAGE someone else, because it just might make their day!

feeling a little sentimental tonight...

My girls are all tucked in and fast asleep. Matt is sleeping soundly next to me. As I lie here tonight thinking about tomorrow, the week ahead, and the days to come, I am feeling a bit sentimental. Maybe for a bunch of reasons...

The first of which is because tomorrow I will be taking my sweet Bella to the first day of her second grade year. When approaching big milestone days like this, I always have this feeling of disbelief wash over me. How can it be? Where has the time gone? Most of all I get this warm fuzzy feeling of love and thankfulness when I think about Bella. She is such a wonderful, sweet, warm, little girl. She is truly one of my most favorite people on earth, and when I think of her in this warm light, the disbelief fades into pure joy that she is mine. I have had the pleasure of enjoying two and a half months at home with her by my side, enjoying days filled with simple, good, pleasures. In these moments of gratefulness, I see God's love, his hand, and his delight casting down on our lives.

The second of which is because on Friday, I will be taking my baby, my little Meritt Rose to her very first day of Preschool. Wow. The baby days at our house are officially over. Any final pieces that I may have been holding onto are now fading away into the next chapter of her story. While my arms are emptier without any babies to feed or rock, my heart is full. Possibly more full than it has ever been.

Last, but most definitely not least, I have been thinking alot about what my marriage means to me lately. The sixteenth of this month marks Matt and my 10th wedding anniversary. Wow. Again. We were two young kids, who knew nothing. NOTHING... except for the fact that we were madly in love with the other, and that we had to be together, forever. Despite all the warnings of people much older than we were, despite the lack of money, the lack of insurance, the lack of material things or even direction. We just knew that when we were together anything was possible. We knew that we wanted to be right in the world, and the only way to do that was to be joined forever, as a family, the two of us, in front of God, our families, and everyone we loved. So we did. That was the beginning of our amazing adventure of life, side by side, and hand in hand. The last ten years haven't been perfect. I don't think I would have wanted them to be. There have been highs and lows, and days in between. But, still after all these years, when I quiet myself, and all the things around myself, I know without a doubt that he's the one for me. Perfectly designed just for me. Yep, we're imperfectly perfect matches for each other! God is good that way isn't he?!

So with all of these things twirling around me inside, and out, I just can't help but feel a little sentimental, thinking about all that has been, and all that is yet to come! It's gonna be a great week, heck let's go for a great month! :+)

tomorrow...

Needing to remind myself that life is beautiful. To laugh, take deep breaths, keep calm, and carry on!

My kids have been INSANELY cranky since we have gotten home from our little road trip. They are all out of sorts... which means in a nut shell, so am I.

I always know that I will pay for taking them away from home, getting off our routine, letting them stay up way past their bedtimes, and live like there are no rules... but what are you gonna do when you're on vacation visiting grandma's, aunties, and cousins?


All I know right now is...
Yikes, it's hard to be calm, loving, and patient, when someone is throwing the 676th fit for the day, is speaking in a non-stop whining tone, is crying, refusing to eat, is picking on their sibling just because, will NOT LISTEN unless being yelled at.

So, tonight, I'm gonna try something... if you are having one of 'those weeks' or 'those days' join in with me...

Deep breath.........
Happy thoughts.........

Remember, this too shall pass.
Tomorrow is a brand new day.
The blessings outweigh the crappy stuff.
Life really is beautiful!

Life is especially beautiful in the light of a new day, so as I prepare to lay my head down to rest. I will be praying that I will awaken with a new attitude... Fresh perspective... & An extra dose of love and patience for my little ones.

And heck if that doesn't work, I'm just gonna put a post it note on my forhead to remind myself!:) What do ya think?

why, do some people feel the need?

Hi there blog peeps... Bear with me I'm in need of a blogging vent.
Let me set the story up...
It's Saturday, day three of Crazy Days at our shop, it's been 95+ degrees for three days. (Three grueling days of very long, hard, exhausting work.) (Crazy Days is our once a year sidewalk blowout sale... it is just like it's name, CRAZY!) Anyways, I'm out on the sidewalk working, trying to help customers, while this lady (that by the way I have never met let alone seen) walks up to me with bubbly excitement, rubs my belly, and asks me how far along I am?!

Ahhhh, WHAT? I'll I could do was smile oddly and say "no, no, ahhhh no"... and all she could say was well, you are so tiny...

What I really wanted to say was, so tiny except for my BELLY that you thought was big enough to house a child? Thanks lady, I wasn't feeling gross enough today, after three 10 plus hour days on my feet in this blasted heat. Now, I need you, a perfect stranger to make me feel like crap. THANKS. Oh, and by the way... I've already birthed two children, and well there is only so much a person can do to keep taunt after being stretched past maximum capacity! OKAY?! It's called GRAVITY!!!!

Why do people do stuff like that? Why do people that don't know one gosh darn thing about you feel some need to ask personal things. As if I was pregnant, I would want everyone on the sidewalk at Crazy Days to find out that way. Also, why did a perfect stranger to me feel the need to touch my stomach when she had no idea if I was prego or not? Too bad my tummy doesn't have teeth it could have bitten her over zealous hand right off.

You can tell I'm not wound up about this right?
It's funny someone can point out the one flaw on your body you are the MOST self conscience about and it sends you right to the moon. I know logically I shouldn't let this bother me, really I do. I get she was a stranger. She did the unthinkable thing that you always think you should never do. I'm sure she felt terrible. But, it bothers me. ON SO MANY LEVELS.

These are the kind of little comments that make women do crazy things... From girlhood and beyond. Why do women do these things to each other? I mean really??? We should be aliened as sisters all on the same side, in understanding that we all have feelings, insecurities, stories, history, and hearts. We should support one another not tear each other down. RIGHT?

So, let's take this little story/ranting/venting as a lesson. Lesson no.1 don't ask personal questions to someone you don't know on a personal level. Lesson no. 2 NEVER ever, under any circumstance ask a woman if she is expecting a child unless you are 110% sure. Lesson no. 3 and this may be the most important of all the lessons we're going to learn about tonight, ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. Lesson no. 4 be humble, be kind, and for heavens sake be loving all the time!

Thanks for letting me get that all off my chest I feel like a million times better!

summer, slow down!

Dear Summer,
I feel as though you just got here, yet you are going by way to fast!


Why is it that we wait and wait all year for these few precious months we call Summer, and yet these precious months go by in a blink of an eye. I always think there are so many things I will do, and accomplish once the weather turns nice. Gardening, yard work, house projects, store projects, trips, parties, yard sales, softball games, day outings, swimming lessons, even just some lazy summer days. Here we are, and it's just a few days after the fourth of July, and there are already school supplies out at Target. Didn't the kids just get out of school. Is it just me, or do we not want to think about school for a while? What happened to Summer, didn't it just begin... I want to slow down and enjoy it!

It's a newer appreciation I have for summer. It never mattered that much to me, until I had kids, now I long for Summer days. I cherish them. I try to soak them up, and enjoy their simplicity. I love that I don't have to live by at tight schedule and planned routine. I love that I have both my girls home to spend time with. I love that we can sort of take one day at a time, and fly by the seats of our pants. I love waking up to sunshine on my face. I love the way my house smells when all the windows and doors are open and the breezes are blowing through. I love spending more time outside than inside. I like it so much I just want it to slow down and not go away so fast so I can savor each and every moment of it! Yet, it seems the next two months are already all peppered with all kinds of plans. How about you? How do you feel about these long, sweet, Summer days? Do they go by too fast for you?

happily grateful...

Do you ever wake up plain old happy?
More aware of the little things...
This morning as I awoke, I was overwhelmed with this sense of gratefulness.
I am just so happy for this life that God has given me.
My blessings overflowing.
I am more than thankful for this!


I am loved, saved, and forgiven, by Jesus.
Each and everyday is new, full of fresh possibilities!
I have an amazing husband, who is my partner in this life. I am so lucky for that.
I have two amazing little girls, who bring me more joy than I ever knew existed.
I live in my dream home... it wraps it arms around me and gives me comfort.
I have wonderful, involved, and supportive parents.
An extended family that are my roots as well as my wings.
Friends who love me.
Chance and opportunity to be and do what ever I want each day.

I am just so happily grateful for my life.
I am grateful even for the chaos, the craziness, and the stresses.
God is so good.
The sun is shining down on us today, what will we make of it?

April showers brings May???

Am I the only one out there that is praying that all of these April showers do in fact bring May flowers??? For that matter, June flowers, and July flowers, and so on and so on... I am DONE with this rain. I am DONE being cold. I am definitely a "true Oregonian", I've lived here all my life. Generally love the rain, and am not affected by it. In fact I have even been known to miss it when it's gone for too long. But, for some reason this winter it is affecting me! It's gloomy, it's cold, it's.... well.... getting old. I am ready to go outside, and feel the sunshine on my skin. I am ready not to be wearing 16 layers everyday. I am ready to feel the warm air blow through my open windows. So for today, I pray that all of these blustery April showers will soon bring us some May flowers! How about you?

“God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”

changes...

It has been exactly one week since Matt and I sat down to watch Food Inc. as you probably gathered from the last lengthy post, it did profound things to us. I understand that not all people will have the same reaction that we had to this. I also understand, as in all things, everyone has their own point of view on the subject. But, since seeing as this is MY blog, and the only person's views I can really speak to our MY own. I thought I would share some of the changes that have taken place, since last I posted....

We have gone a whole week almost completely organic, & local.

It feels Awesome!

After watching Food Inc. we started researching...

Researching places to buy local meats, cheeses, veggies and fruits, and also different places to buy organic, local, and whole foods. Also, looking into one of our biggest questions, what do you do when you need to eat out? Turns out there are several good options (restaurant's) locally that do local, organic, grass fed, sustainable... etc.

Yay that was good news! Especially since one of my most favorite places was on the "good list" - Burgerville!!! Woo Woo, a girl cannot live without Burgerville!

Anyway, here is a list of places that we have found that meet all or some of the criteria...

Burgerville (A Northwest fast food Chain, serving local, fresh, sustainable foods)

Costco (lots of great organic available at bulk prices)

Corvallis Co-Op

The Grocery Outlet (again tons of great organic stuff at discount prices)

Corvallis Indoor Market

Bald Hill Farms

High Heels in the Barn (a blog that I think is just great!)

Trader Joes

Whole Foods

Life Source Natural foods (Salem, Oregon)

Who knew there were so many choices to choose from. Plus, there are tons of others I haven't even listed. These are just a few that have gotten my attention this week. I will let you know as others come along!

Making this commitment to our family feels great. I'm sure there may be times that it isn't always possible to follow it just right, but even the effort makes a big difference. Before our family was about 50% organic, local, and sustainable... mostly for a few reasons: expense, laziness, and denial that the food we were eating wasn't "that bad". We've never been unhealthy eaters. I wouldn't say. But, the commitment to not fill ourselves with chemicals, and man made and engineered foods, makes me feel like we are not only giving our kids a gift that will be long giving, but that we are honoring our bodies, and the land and animals that God has given us. I really feel like this is the way it's supposed to be. Yes, it takes a bit more effort, time, and yes even money. I can honestly say I really feel it's worth it. The funny thing is, I've found, is that when you fill your kitchen with good healthy foods, that's what you eat. When the cupboards are bare, and the fridge is lonely, that's when we got ourselves into trouble. So, making a bit more effort to plan ahead, as in most things, pays back big rewards!

Some of the things we're working on for the future are:

• Planning our Garden (this is something we've done for years, but this year it will be more intentional) I will also be gardening 100% organically, which I am excited to learn more about.


• Buying our meat locally from local butcher's... we are thinking about 1/4 of beef, 1/2 a pig, a few organic free range chickens, and are still looking into turkey (looks like it's a seasonal thing).


• Canning (now that the basement is almost done, I can finally get a freezer, and area to store pantry goods... so come summer I will be canning all kinds of things!)


• Learning more, more about label reading, more about what's good, what's not, what you should buy organically, and what doesn't really matter... basically educating ourselves, so we don't fall back into laziness, and ignorance!


• The possibilities of our own chickens (yes, you can have them in the city,... and no I haven't gotten the OK, so we'll see)


• Farmer's Market and Local Farms... looking forward to more things being in season. (Again, we have always gone to Farmer's Market as well as local farms, but we will be utilizing these resources more as we go forward!)

Well, for now... that's where we're at in this journey. Have you made any changes? Have you watched the film? What's your perspective... I'd love to start a conversation! Watch the film if you haven't... it's eye opening!

Have fun along the way, get the kiddo's involved. Mine have so enjoyed trying some new foods, visiting interesting markets, and even seeing some farm animals along the way! Make them part of the discussion, they might just surprise you!

eye opening...

In Food, Inc., filmmaker Robert Kenner lifts the veil on our nation's food industry, exposing the highly mechanized underbelly that has been hidden from the American consumer with the consent of our government's regulatory agencies, USDA and FDA. Our nation's food supply is now controlled by a handful of corporations that often put profit ahead of consumer health, the livelihood of the American farmer, the safety of workers and our own environment. We have bigger-breasted chickens, the perfect pork chop, herbicide-resistant soybean seeds, even tomatoes that won't go bad, but we also have new strains of E. coli—the harmful bacteria that causes illness for an estimated 73,000 Americans annually. We are riddled with widespread obesity, particularly among children, and an epidemic level of diabetes among adults.
Featuring interviews with such experts as Eric Schlosser (Fast Food Nation), Michael Pollan (The Omnivore's Dilemma, In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto) along with forward thinking social entrepreneurs like Stonyfield's Gary Hirshberg and Polyface Farms' Joel Salatin, Food, Inc. reveals surprising—and often shocking truths—about what we eat, how it's produced, who we have become as a nation and where we are going from here.

Learn more about these issues and how you can take action on Takepart.com

Here are 10 simple things you

can do to make a positive change!

1. Stop drinking sodas and other sweetened beverages.
You can lose 25 lbs in a year by replacing one 20 oz soda a day with a no calorie beverage (preferably water).

2. Eat at home instead of eating out.
Children consume almost twice (1.8 times) as many calories when eating food prepared outside the home.

3. Support the passage of laws requiring chain restaurants to post calorie information on menus and menu boards.
Half of the leading chain restaurants provide no nutritional information to their customers.

4. Tell schools to stop selling sodas, junk food, and sports drinks.
Over the last two decades, rates of obesity have tripled in children and adolescents aged 6 to 19 years.

5. Meatless Mondays—Go without meat one day a week.
An estimated 70% of all antibiotics used in the United States are given to farm animals.

6. Buy organic or sustainable food with little or no pesticides.
According to the EPA, over 1 billion pounds of pesticides are used each year in the U.S.

7. Protect family farms; visit your local farmer's market.
Farmer's markets allow farmers to keep 80 to 90 cents of each dollar spent by the consumer.

8. Make a point to know where your food comes from—READ LABELS.
The average meal travels 1500 miles from the farm to your dinner plate.

9. Tell Congress that food safety is important to you.
Each year, contaminated food causes millions of illnesses and thousands of deaths in the U.S.

10. Demand job protections for farm workers and food processors, ensuring fair wages and other protections.

(this information was taken from the food inc. official website)

Go check out this amazing documentary, as well as their official website:

http://www.foodincmovie.com/index.php

To search for sustainable, organic, local foods in your area go to:

http://www.eatwellguide.org/i.php?pd=Home

This movie has totally made me want to change the way I live, the way I eat, and the way I feed my kids. It was amazingly eye opening to me, and I hope that you will take the time to watch this film and read and learn more about these important conversations we need to be having. For a long time I have wanted to make these changes, but because of ignorance and laziness have not... but it's time, at least for me and for my family, to make a real commitment! I'll keep you updated with the changes to come at our house. Let me know if you decide to make a change at yours! Please, Please, Please, watch this film!

feeling sentimental...

I see trees of green,

red roses too...

I see them bloom

for me and you...

And i think to myself:

"What a wonderful world!"

I see skies of blue

and clouds of white

The bright blessed day,

the dark sacred night

And I think to my self:

"What a wonderful world!"

The colors of the rainbow

so pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces

of people going by

I see friends shaking hands

saying "How do you do.

"They really say: "I love you!"

I hear babies crying

I watch them grow

They'll learn much more

than I'll ever know

And I think to myself:

"What a wonderful world!"

Yes, I think to myself:

"What a wonderful world!"

(photo by Meghann Street - Your Street Photography)

Every time I hear this Louis Armstrong song, What a Wonderful World... (which I just happen to have on the Christmas CD playing in my car right now, ) I see this photo of Meritt and Matt in my head... I just can't help it. I don't know why but I get really sentimental when I think of them as daddies girls. The line in the song that says; I hear babies cry, I watch them grow, they'll learn much more than I'll ever know... Gets me every time! There is not a day that goes by that I am not conscience of the fact that my kids are precious gifts from God. I also realize that the time goes by way too fast. This picture of daddies little girl, will soon change to a daddies girl all grown up, and heading off in her own direction. I cherish this picture. You can feel the love straight through the image!

her smile...

She has a thousand different smiles, but doesn't give any away too easily. She is careful, cautious, unsure at first. But when she gives you that smile, you know you've won her heart. She has a big and beautiful heart. The best and most beautiful part of her is she has no idea how beautiful she is... inside or out. There is never an air of conceitedness about her. She just is who she is. Take it or leave it.

To most she's quiet, and conservative. To me... she is laughter, and sunshine, caring, and goodness. I don't think she has any idea how much I love her. Actually, I know she doesn't. How could she ever know the depth of my love... The moment, I found out that she was growing inside of me, I fell in love. The moment the doctor placed her on my chest, I knew her heart and mine were forever connected, in a way, and in a love that I had no idea existed.

She challenges me, strengthens me, makes me think, has made me NEVER to say "never". She delights me, surprises me, stretches me, and makes me wake each and everyday with thanks to God for the life I have been given. She doesn't always give her smiles or love easily, but when she does... I feel like I've won the lottery.

Bella, I know that it isn't always easy being you. I know that from a very young age you have been expected to be and do a lot! But please don't ever question how proud I am that you're my girl. You make me so proud. I can't believe you're the baby that doctor placed on my chest - when I fell head over heals in love. Where has all the time gone? Slow down... would you please? It's all going way way to fast for me.

Thank you for the smiles you give,

they are so precious to me... each and every one!

That Girl...

I have had the pleasure this week to really spend some real quality time with my little monkey girl. I know you're probably sitting there thinking to yourself don't you spend everyday with her? Aren't you like 24/7 mama. The answer would be YES, and I love spending everyday with my girls. There's a BUT coming... but, I don't always get to spend one on one "Quality Time". When Bella was little her and I spent everyday just her and I, we knew each other's ins and outs. But since Meritt has come along my attention always has to be shared. Whether with her sister, her daddy, another family member, friends, chores, the shop, phone calls, or life.

This week life has been pretty quiet... (knock on wood). After many weeks of pretty much chaos and craziness... we have spent the week chilling out with one another. Man that girl make me laugh. Man that girl makes my heart melt like it's right over a big Ole blazing fire...

She has a way about her...

She has a light in her eyes...

She has a joy in her heart...

that is contagious.

Sure she can be sneaky.

Sure she can be a monkey.

Sure she has a fiery, passionate personality.

Sure she's...

quick

sassy

witty

smart

clever

& fearless...

But she's also, sweet, kind, loving, cuddly, vivacious, joyous,

happy, and perfect just the way she is.

I imagine that it's not always the easiest thing being the baby sister. Being compared to your sister, and everything she did and when, her personality, and how sweet, smart, and good she is.

(Just as I'm sure it's not always easy being the Big Sissy either, but that's a different story for a different day!) It's probably not always easy not really having anything that is just yours (not even your mama and daddy). To always have to share, even when you have no idea of the definition. Always having to act a little bit better than maybe you're really capable of because you're being drug around with the "big kids". Always having to watch as your sis gets to do things first... play with friends, go to parties, and have more privileges... when you're told you're too little. But, Meritt, you'll get your chance some day... I promise you! I hope you don't grow up too fast, because I happen to like the fact that you're the baby sister!

I feel so blessed to have this girl as my daughter. Everyday she is teaching me what life is really all about. She's only been with me less than 3 years, but she has already taught me so much... I feel like it is in part to her that I am a better person than I was. I can't wait to learn more. What a joy it is, just to spend my days in your presence!

Heavy Hearted...

Each and everyone of us walks our daily walk with a different purpose, a different outlook, and a different struggle. Some try and look at life with the glass half full. Some try to make each day better than the one before. Some of us are good at being obedient to the life that God is asking us to live. Other's of us wake up each day unexcited, looking at the day as something we have to get through rather than enjoy.

It's easy to judge someone else, but it is so hard to see our own truth. Why is that? Each of us is woven of our own threads, made up of our own fibers. Some of the fibers were knit when we were young, some came later when heartbreak found us, as our innocence was fleeting, or life caught up with us, or as we experienced joys through small eyes, or accomplishments along the way.

I have a heavy heart tonight to make a proposition to whoever may be out there reading this today... Think of all of the friends, family, and loved ones you may have today that need your prayer. I know right now there are many in my life. Some I feel sorrow for, some I wish I could change, some I feel sorry for, some I feel happy for, some might not even know me well. Who ever may be on your heart... listen to that calling. Pray for that person. Whether it be a person you love, or even one you loathe. Remember each of us has a story. Each of us has a struggle. Each of us needs to be prayed for!

Some days I feel so guilty because I am so blessed. In many ways my life is easy. There are people I know that are living in unhappy marriages, or desperately want a child. Others seem to not be able to find their happiness no matter where they look. Some I know keep being challenged with the same lesson time and time again. Others live in denial, keeping quiet rather than speaking their truth.

At the end of the day no matter how blessed or how challenged we may be at our own point in time. Something has hit me in the last little while, and that is... that the only person in this whole world we can change is ourselves. Anything you don't like in someone else is most likely a trait you don't like in yourself. We can never make a person feel for us what they do not feel. We can never make a persons focus and priority what you would want it to be. You can never make a person feel something they don't really feel themselves. The only one in life we can control is our self.

Whoever is on your heart... pray for them.
I know that there are people on mine tonight that I will be praying for!
I will also be thanking him for my many many blessings.
Remember to be thankful - even for the really little things. Slow down... take a deep breath... because if we forget to thank him in the good times how can we expect him to bless us in the bad times?

it's a beautiful day...

This is the girls and my new song that we love to sing at the top of our voices as we drive along... Everyday as I hear their little voices, I am reminded how blessed I really am. No matter how crazy the day gets, how frazzled, and out of sorts I may feel, this brings me back to reality, and reminds me how easy it really is to decide to have a beautiful day.

Life is a journey,

Not a destination,

There are no mistakes,

Just chances we’ve taken

Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

Wake up in the morning

And get out of bed

Start making a mental list in my head

Of all of the things that I am grateful for

Early in the morning

It’s the dawn of a new day

New hopes

new dreams

new ways

I open up my eyes and I open up my mind

and I wonder how life will surprise me today

Early in the morning

It’s the dawn of a new day

New hopes, new dreams, new ways

I open up my heart

and I’m gon’ do my part

and Make this a positively beautiful day

La la la la la la la la la

It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a challenge not a competition

You can still smell the roses

and be on a mission

Just take a moment to get in touch

with your heart

Sometimes you feel like you’ve

got something to prove

Remind yourself that there’s

only one you

Just take a moment to give thanks

of who you are

Early in the morning

It’s the dawn of a new day

New hopes, new dreams, new ways

I open up my eyes and

I open up my mind and

I wonder how life will surprise me today

Early in the morning

It’s the dawn of a new day

New hopes, new dreams, new ways

I open up my heart

and I’m gon’ do my part

and Make this a

positively beautiful day

La la la la la la la la la

It’s a Beautiful Day

Let’s make this a wonderful

Let’s make this a powerful

Let’s make this a Beautiful Day

It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a journey,

Not a destination,

There are no mistakes,

Just chances we’ve taken

Lay down your regrets

cause all we have is now
India Arie ~ Beautiful Day

I know these days it's pretty hard to stay up beat. Especially with all that's going on in the world, our nation, and heck even our own cities. We have all in our own ways faced difficulties this year, in this season of uncertainty. But, at the end of the day ~ and at the beginning of a new one; the things that most matter, are not things at all.

Blessings come to us in small packages, in hidden meanings, in ways we may not even notice, especially when we are too wrapped up in other things to acknowledge them.

Here is what I know for myself...

I am most blessed, when I give thanks to God for the little things. For the people in my life that give my life meaning, and in finding gratefulness for what he has given me. To hear the laughter of my children, and wake up each day next to the love of my life, and to know that God has blessed me with those things, then the other things just don't matter. I only have this one life, and I want to live it... not look back and regret it. I don't want to be tied down to worry. I don't want to be paralyzed by fear. I want to start each day feeling like it really can be beautiful.

I really hope that if you are having a hard time feeling life has beauty, that you can find it... start by buying the new India Arie CD, blast track no. 16... and sing... trust me, it will work!!!

good advise...

After that talk with my friend the other night, I was searching for some guidance. So, of course I went to the one person who always has good advise, my dad. I told him about what had happened and that I was looking for the right words for my friend.

Months earlier he had told me about a story of how he became a christian. So, I asked him again to tell me the story...

When he and my mom got together, my dad was not a believer. They were living together in the house that my Grandpa had built but hadn't finished. He hadn't finished it because he was struggling with a long drawn out battle with colon cancer. He was about 5 years into his fight with his illness, and it was pretty obvious by that time that he didn't have too much longer to live. My dad had shown interest in being the one to finish the house that Grandpa had started, even though he really didn't have the knowledge he needed to take on such a project. So, as dad worked Grandpa would sit or sometimes lay and teach him. One day while they were working on the house, they took a lunch break. Dad asked Grandpa how he kept his faith in God even though he knew he was dying. Dad couldn't understand how you could continue to believe in a God that would allow you to go through such a devastating illness. How a person could live such a good, honorable life, be good to his family, a church going person, a pillar in their community and still be dealt such an unfair hand in life. Dad asked him that day how he continued to believe. How he knew there was a God. Grandpa answered him like this... he said at the end of my life I know that I have lived the way God has asked me to, living for him, I know where I am going... I have an insurance policy that will lead me to eternal life. If there is no God, and I have lived an honorable life, living to be better than the day before I haven't lost anything.

In part because of that conversation, my dad was lead to accept Jesus into his life. But, more than that conversation, he said that it was the was the way Grandpa lived his life that made him want to know more. It was the example he set, the light that shown through him, the peace that he had because of his love of Jesus, that made my dad want to have that too.

So, Dad told me this... the best thing I can do is continue to be an example. To let the love of Jesus shine through me for others to see, and to continue to pray for my friend each and every day. So simple, yet such good advise! That story of my Grandpa has really touched me. I never knew him, he died before I could. But, I know in a way hearing stories about him like that, he is still teaching us... Thank you dad for sharing that with me!

qualification for a good day...

What qualifies as a good day to you? Are there just certain things that have to fall into place for you? Or, do you think a good day is measured more by the way that you feel that particular day? Or do you think maybe it's all of the above? Today seems to just be a good day. My heart feels peaceful. It has got me thinking, what makes today such a good day... what about yesterday, what about tomorrow? Why today? Not that yesterday was bad, not that tomorrow will be either... but every once and a while you get a day where the world seems to have no wrong.

Here's what I think makes (today) a good day for me. Things in order... Waking up to something good, not waking up to chaos... Happy kids, a sweet husband, and a kind mother... Sleeping sound baby... A summer day at home with perfectly ideal open window/door weather... A clean house (with baby finger and hand prints on clean windows, that only add to their beauty)... Emails from old friends... Feeling calm... Freshly washed slip covers and sheets... A garden in full bounty... Watching my five year old take her very first swim lesson, and seeing her bravery for something she fears... My Rosie's big toothy grin, and passionately blown kisses... my Ole' pug sleeping in the slice of sunshine from the window... cooking a yummy dinner, and sharing it with family... Jon & Kate plus 8 night... sleeping with the windows open... PRETTY SIMPLE really. What makes you have a wonderful day?

Blog Drought

I've been in a bit of a blog drought lately... What to say? Is anyone even reading this? If so, what do you want to know, and see, and read? I haven't taken any new photos in a while due to loosing my camera chip... oops. Guess I better fix that soon! I figured it's been quite a long while since I have posted anything, so I figured since I don't have any new photos, I would just ramble a bit. Life is still crazy as usual, although I must admit I am enjoying my new "summer schedule"! The new schedule is this... mom and I decided that the girls don't need to spend their summer locked down in a store, so they are only there 2 days a week. I stay home Sat. - Tues. (doing some computer work and such on those days) we are all down there Wednesday and Thursday, and Friday they spend the day at Grammy's house so I can work without interruption. So far it's working out nicely! (Although I feel I am still not getting all of my work done... but until Meritt gets a bit bigger, it may be an impossibility!) I am enjoying spending so much quality time with the girls, we are getting out and doing fun things that they love like play dates, library time, walks, and playing outside. It feels good. We are even beginning to get into a routine during our days (aka nap schedule is actually part of our lives again). Other than that, we are still working on house stuff, the bathroom is finally finished, basement is still in progress, the swing set has been built, the yard work all done (except for the new patio which is in demolition phases at this time), and the outside of the house will be painted by end of summer (anyway that's the plan). I have been meaning to take some pictures to share on all the house stuff... but as I said earlier I lost my camera chip somewhere, and haven't been taking many a photo as of late. Next on the summer schedule is Matt's sister Cristy's wedding, we leave next week for our road trip.... the plan is to make the driving fun by breaking it up and taking the girls to do somethings on the way, like the Wild Life Safari, and a swimming pool at the hotel we are staying in. We usually make the whole trip in one LONG day, but with two little people, it just didn't sound like fun, it sounded like a stressed out mess..... so I am hoping this will be our first real family road trip, I will keep you posted on how it goes! We are so excited to see all of our family in California, it's going to be a long week waiting to leave! Well, I suppose that is enough rambling for now... if you have any suggestions on what you might like to read about you could leave me a message........ :) If anyone is out there?