not alone...

imperfect...

I am close to my 32nd birthday...

I have stretch marks...

I have a gut that doesn't want to go away, although I don't really try...

I say words that hurt unintentionally...

I yell at my kids when I don't want to...

I am at times highly O.C.D. ...

I have no filter...

I can't do it all...

I never have enough hours in a day, or a week, or a month, or a year...

I would have more babies in a heartbeat if it was meant to be for me...

I am addicted to tea...

I am sensitive...

I am a people pleaser...

I at times worry more about what makes others happy than what makes me happy...

My written words are sometimes misinterpreted, misunderstood, taken in a way they were never intended.

This blog is a place to be me. To share my truth. To share my life. To share my heart. To share myself. I have a lot of faults. I am in no way perfect. I am okay with my imperfections. It's taken me pretty close to my whole 32 years to say, I love who am - being imperfect, is perfect, because I am me. God loves me. God made me. God even forgives me, when I say something hurtful, that I didn't intend to hurt. When I yell at my kids when I should be loving them. When I don't have enough time to do everything for everybody. When I drink more tea than water. When I am too sensitive.  When I have to have my house just so, or things organized in a way that life doesn't feel out of control. 

HE LOVES ME. 

I write this blog, because it's my place to share HIS love.

At times, when I've written something that gets misinterpreted, misunderstood, or is taken as hurtful; the people pleaser in me, wants to shut Bella's little Rose down forever. But I won't..... because I have a job to do here. That job is to tell you, that He love you too! Even when you feel totally imperfect, far from lovable, and totally misunderstood, crazed, and overwhelmed by life. 

In this season, of the greatest gift the world has ever known, let's reflect. Reflect on how great His love is for us, that he sent us his son to be a common man, to die for our sins, so that we can be forgiven for being such imperfect beings. How awesome, is that gift?!!! How awesome is it that we are loved far greater than we can ever fathom???!!! Far more than we even deserve. 

There is magic in my heart tonight.

I am filled, despite my imperfections.

I pray that you are too! 

and if not, I pray that maybe you can read my heart in this little message here at Bella's little Rose and know that despite your imperfections, you are loved too!

HE HAS IT COVERED...

This week was a doozie friends!
Whoa boy.

There were times during this week I just had to call out to Jesus and say, 'how much more lord?'

I had to have some pretty significant, pretty serious medical tests done this last week and a half, and there was a chance, actually a pretty good chance, that the out come wasn't going to be a good one.

Besides the fact that I had to go 36 hours without food this week, and drink 4 liters of the worst tasting drink I had ever drank, I also had to deal with my emotions, of what if...

Most of the time the 'what ifs' in life get us, don't they???
The theme running through me this whole week, as I dealt with these tests, and the unknown, feeling terrible health wise, dealing with a very sick almost 8 year old, a struggling shop, and a hard work situation for my hubby, was the word TRUST.

God was asking me to TRUST that HE had me covered.
So, I did.
This advice I had been given once a long time ago kept repeating over, and over in my head all week long, and it kept me calm and still.

The advice was this: When we worry, and take our burdens on to ourselves, we are telling God to his face that we don't TRUST him.

I went forward into my week with blind TRUST that HE had me covered...
and HE DID!

I got my test results back, and every single bad possibility has been ruled out.

HE HAD ME COVERED...

Bella is feeling better, and was so well taken care of by my Mom and Matt when I couldn't be the mama I would have liked to have been while she was sick.

HE HAD ME COVERED...

After a very slow last two weeks at the store, he provided an amazing sales day yesterday that perfectly covered the exact amount we needed to pay our large payments/bills that were due.

HE HAD IT COVERED...

Matt has some change on the horizon.
Whatever it brings, it will be GREAT.

HE HAS IT COVERED...

If we walk through life, TRUSTING that HE HAS US COVERED, think of all the worry we would save ourselves...
He has a plan for our lives.
He just wants us to trust HIM.

HE HAS YOU COVERED TOO...trust him!

How Great thou Art...

This rendition of this song gives me chills.
An awesome version of an awesome song!
This was always one of my Grandma's favorites...
I bet this is how it sounds in heaven, but even better.
Never quite heard it like this at Jefferson Christian Church back in the day.

I hope you have had an absolutely amazing day.
Celebrating that we are saved thanks to the ultimate sacrifice, if we choose to ask Jesus Christ to be our Lord and Savior!

Two years ago on Easter, I was baptized.
I didn't plan it.
I didn't even think I was going to do it until God told me to walk up the aisle and make my way to my pastor and make that commitment.
Right there in my Easter clothes.

Until that day I had been living as a luke warm Christian.
Even though I had been saved since about the age of 3... and had always had a personal relationship with Jesus. I hadn't made the ultimate commitment.
I am so thankful that I made that brave walk down the aisle.
I am so thankful to be saved by the Grace of GOD!

Happy Easter!
I pray you have a blessed day!

on my heart...

I haven't posted in a while.
Partly because in real life, I've been going through something, and my head and my heart are ALL over the place.
It's not easy for me to write when my head and heart aren't working well together, so I've taken a quiet break.

In a way I've been taking a quiet break from everything I can, just to be able to really focus on God's voice in my life. I need him desperately to guide my footsteps right now.

Last week, I had to say good-bye to a friend that I have loved in one way or another since I was 9 years old.

Saying goodbye has broken my heart.

Listening to God's voice isn't always the easiest thing to do - or to obey, but I choose to believe that listening is the best thing for all involved. With that said, it doesn't make it hurt or sting any less.

I pretty much feel like a failure.
I wanted to be a witness to my friend.
My goal was to show the light of Jesus, through the light he shines in me.
Maybe I did...
I pray that I did...
I suppose HIS plan will be made perfect in HIS timing!

Even typing out this post makes the tears well up in my eyes...
it's emotional.
I hate everything about the whole situation.
Last week, for about a day, I felt really pissed off at God.
Is that really horrible to admit?
I wanted to cry out - why did you let me fail at this???

Then, I was reminded that God never fails.
He has a perfect plan.
It is humans that fail.
It's our plans that are totally imperfect.

When we choose not to listen to the truth, that is failure.

This friend of mine and me... no one understands why we would possibly have ever become friends. Our lives are opposite. Our backgrounds couldn't be more different. Yet from the time I was in about the 4th grade, God was calling me to be a friend, and love this person....

Even though, I had to say goodbye.
I have to believe that God is still using me.
Somehow.
Someway.
I pray someday my friend will be able to be my friend again.
In God's timing.
Not mine.

It's okay to love people just because God is calling you to.
It doesn't have to make sense.
It doesn't have to be popular.
It doesn't have to be self-serving.
It doesn't have to please anyone.
It doesn't have to be for any other reason than because God has called you to.

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. ... 1 John 3:16-24

My heart will mend with God's grace and love working in my heart.
Someday all the pain and sorrow, all of the hardships we face here on earth they will be made perfect!

It's okay to open your heart.
Even if it means it will be broken.
Don't be afraid to feel.
Don't be afraid to love.
Don't be afraid to shine his light through your life.
These things I'm learning.....

Lessons never end, no matter how old we grow to be.

his grace abounds...

*source*

take heart...

love is...

We have a huge chalk board in our laundry/craft room. I mean really big. It's a whole wall. I spend a lot of time in my laundry room. No matter how hard I try laundry is a never ending job in my house. Just about the time I think I have conquered the piles, they are back again.

Anyway, this last week, I decided I needed a reminder of what love really is. What God's word says love is. I need to strive to love those I love more like God loves me. These last few weeks have been a little tough. Matt has been working six days a week, lots and lots of hours. It's been hard to have our whole family schedule upside down. I don't like feeling upside down. I also don't like having to do all the parenting. However, my sweet husband doesn't want to be working all of these hours, and isn't choosing to not be with us. He's being our provider. I know that I can't be selfish about how 'I' feel about this because it wouldn't be fair. So instead, I am trying to have the very best attitude that I can have, and be as loving to my kids and my husband as I can possibly be, and in return, despite the upside down nature of our lives right now, I am being blessed!

I had to stop myself at one point last Saturday while Matt was working his third straight weekend in a row from having a pity party. Having a pity party would do no good. He isn't having one. He's choosing to have a great attitude despite unfavorable working conditions, so I decided I would too.

Running a business, and being a full time Mama is a lot on one persons plate. There have been many days lately that there have been no fancy meals prepared... however we still sit and eat food, as a family, and say a blessing before we eat our meal. There are days I can't get to everything on my to-do list... but I still am able to always get something accomplished, and that is one less thing on the list for tomorrow. There have been a few days where feeling positive isn't always easy... but it's always worth it because my attitude is directly mirrored by my children's attitudes. As long as I have love, and I am giving love to those that I love, than life is never upside down. The older I get the more I realize that as long as I have the love of Jesus in my heart... my life is always right side up!

1 Corinthians 13

1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Faith Blogs...

Tonight I received an email that almost brought tears to my eyes... okay it did bring tears to my eyes. I received an email letting me know that my blog has been chosen to be featured on Faith Blogs! Have you heard about Faith Blogs before??? If not, you must go check it out!!! What a wonderful idea. What a great way to connect people who blog and love the lord! I am BEYOND honored... I am thrilled!

For a long time now, I have felt that God has been asking me to use my blog to share his word and his love. I felt he was asking me to do that here at my own little piece of the Internet.

There have been times throughout my blogging journey that I have thought about giving it up. I have wondered why I keep click... click... clicking the keys of my computer when I'm not always sure anyone is even reading this little ole' blog let alone getting any benefit from it.

But, God was tugging at my heart, and telling me to be quiet and wait. That there is a reason and a purpose for why I have started this blog of mine. I chose to have faith that he of course knows better than I do. So, I have stayed. Still click... click... clicking my keys, not for any other reason than because I feel I have been called to use my words, and my life, for something that will glorify my heavenly father. In doing so, I've prayed that my words would also be of some encouragement, or interest to someone else out there reading my words, and viewing my photos, and hearing my stories.

Getting the email tonight from Katie at Faith Blogs telling me that I was chosen, made me smile from ear to ear, because God is good. He always makes a way. ALWAYS. There are times he asks us to be still, or quiet, or patient, and we don't always know why or where he's going with the request, but he does. That is faith. Having faith that HE is in control. That HE knows better than we do. Stepping out of our comfort zones and listening to where we are being called, because he has a plan far greater than we can ever imagine.

I am excited to see where this journey will take me.
I pray I continue to listen, and step out on faith so that I can accomplish everything he's asking of me in my life.
Thank You Faith Blogs for choosing me!


Faith is putting all your eggs in God's basket, then counting your blessings before they hatch. ~Ramona C. Carroll

Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark. ~Rabindranath Tagore

He who has faith has... an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly. ~B.C. Forbes

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. ~Victor Hugo

Faith can move mountains, but don't be surprised if God hands you a shovel. ~Author Unknown

As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. ~Emmanuel

Hey, Hey...

First, I have to share the back story on this... This past summer we went to something called the Willamette Celebration. It's a Christian event bringing together every church around the Willamette Valley for about a 100 mile+ radius. They had varied different events throughout the weekend. One evening we went to one of the many outdoor concerts they had. One of the bands was Superchick. The music came across the land and Meritt went nuts. She was dancing like she was born to be a rocker girl all of her life! A week or so later, both girls were still talking about 'Superchick' - especially Meritt, so we went down to our local Bible bookstore and brought a Superchick CD. The rest of the summer, that CD blasted away in our car, as the girls sung at the top of their lungs in the backseat, and Meritt waved her arms in the air, and danced around like the music was part of who she is.

There is one song in particular that she loves the 'most'! HEY, HEY.
She could listen to it over, and over, and over, and over....... and over. (you get it!) After months of listening, this mama grew a little rattled and weary over listening to the sounds of Superchick, so the above mentioned CD may have gone missing for a bit. Well, the other night the beloved Superchick CD was found and all was happy in our land. Especially when HEY, HEY, came across the speakers. UPPER MAMA, UPPER, that's Meritt's way of asking that the music be so loud that everyone within a 5 mile radius can hear it! So, I did what any good, reasonable mother would do, we opened the sunroof all the way in 40 degree weather at 7 o'clock at night cranked the stereo upper almost as loud as it goes, and rocked out to HEY, HEY.

Listen to the words, read the words... I don't think there could be a better song in all the world to sum up my Meritt. That night as we were driving, I listened more intently on the words of my little girls favorite song more intently than I ever had before, and as I heard her little voice from the back seat sing out, 'be legendary, be you...' I believed with all of my heart, that God is going to do some legendary things with her, because of how 'her' she is through and through!

<



I'm linking up with Heather at Blessed Little Nest today on her life made lovely Mondays! Go check her blog out it's oh so cute! Love it...

my grace is sufficient...

the hardest visit yet...

Since, for some reason typing has become somehow therapeutic to me. I am going to use this blog once again, as a place to share something very personal. I have no idea why it is helpful to me somehow to see my thoughts typed out in words. But, somehow it is. So, here it goes...

I have always known that losing my grandma would be one of the hardest things I would ever have to do. Growing up somehow, I had convinced myself she would be around forever. When she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I remember wishing that I would have spent more time with her, before the disease stole her from us. I had wished that I would have been less interested in teenage things, and more content spending time with her, as I had been when I was little, and life seemed simpler. I remember in that moment, of reflection, that I would use the rest of my time I had with her more wisely. I had no idea how difficult it would be to watch her slip away into her disease, and watch her personality alter. As difficult as that was, I still never let myself think about what it would be like to lose her totally.

I guess it was somehow naive of me to not prepare myself. Or human nature. Which ever way you slice it, the time is nearing, and I am not sure I know how to say goodbye.

I am not as tearful as I thought I would be...

Seeing her slipping in and out of consciousness today, made me aware that the time I have left with her is lessening everyday. My mind now wanders on all of the thoughts of does she know that I love her? I mean does she KNOW? Did I ever adequately thank her for all that she has been to me in my life? How does she remember me? Does she remember the selfish teenager I was when she was still her? Or does she remember the little girl that loved to play with her, and be in her presence? Or does she know me, on some level still, and know when she looks into my eyes that she is loved. Do words count now? Or are actions all that remain?

Peace is felt inside, when I know that she and I will meet again one day, and even if I can't tell her all the things I'd like to now, that maybe then I will get my chance. Death is such a hard thing... letting go is harder yet.

My prayer is that God will take her home in peace, without much pain or sorrow. I pray that she doesn't remember me as a selfish teenager, that didn't thank her, and lost my patience with her all the time. I pray that she does still know me somehow, when she looks into my eyes. I pray that in seeing those eyes looking at her, that she knows she's loved, even if I never say it again.

Before I left her bedside today, I kissed her cheek, and told her that I loved her, and she whispered back she loved me too...

Please keep her in your prayers. Pray she will not feel any pain when Jesus takes her home... Until that day, pray that I begin to prepare my heart to say goodbye, to one of the dearest people I have ever known. It may be the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

the rest of the story...

So yesterday, I started to share with you my story, about what has been happening with my health. Today, I'm going to share the rest of the story!...

I think it's called dealing with life.
I think.
Yes, I'm pretty sure when challenges arise, we can either deal with them then and there, or sweep them neatly under the rug until another day. But, eventually we have to deal with them!

For me, I'm not sure if these other things that have been happening in life have been hidden under the rug for long or not, but they both definitely have made me (us) deal with them - right now!

One of these things that has had to be delt with is Meritt Rose, and her speech problems. I guess I have known on some level for quite a while that she was getting her sounds, and words later than I thought she should. (but as a mom I try really hard not to compare my kids) Bella, was quiet, but always verbal. Meritt was a very loud baby, but not very vocal. In fact by age two, she barely said anything at all. Still, I didn't get too upset about it, because I assumed that it would sort of correct its self like many childhood issues do. But, by this year (her first preschool year) when she wasn't being understood by other teachers, kids, or parents, I felt like it would be a great idea to use a resource available to us at her school, and have a free speech evaluation. I'm not sure that I thought about what that evaluation meant much further out than the actual evaluation... But, by the end of the screening, I have been forced to face that 'challenge under the rug' that had been hiding. Meritt is in need of some private speech therapy. We are now in the process of learning more about this, and also finding some programs available through our county that may assist us as well.

Meritt was born four weeks early, due to a terrible case of bronchitis and flu that I had at 36 weeks prego. I felt as if I coughed her out. (but, I didn't ;) ) She weighed 7lbs 2oz and besides being very jondiced, and not having her sucking reflux yet, she was a thriving new born, baby, and even toddler. I had never thought that her prematurity would hand us problems later down the road. You always hear about premature babies at birth, but rarely about kids who have disabilities because of their prematurity. The professionals I have talked with say, it is very likely this is at least part of why she is having difficulty. I am just hoping that with help now, at almost four, we can correct any problems she may have, so she doesn't experience them once she is school aged.

I see 2011... as a great year for Meritt to thrive in. I am thankful, and hopeful that by getting her the help, and therapy she needs, that she will be able to develop her social skills, as well as her communication skills, and frustration about her speech.

As a mama it is hard to watch your little one struggle, or act out, because they can't tell you what they are trying to express. It breaks my heart that she says her teachers are her best friends at school. (not because they aren't lovely, but because they aren't kids!) I desperately want her to develop relationships with other kids, I want her to fit in, and be happy, I want her to be able to play, and enjoy this sweet little age that she's at. It is my prayer and my hope that this new year will bring her only positive growth and change!

The next thing that has been hard this year, has been watching my grandma take a downward spiral with her health. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 1999, but has ALWAYS been healthy as a horse otherwise! Six months ago, she could sit cross legged in the floor playing with her great-grand girls, and today, it takes two people to carefully move her aging, frail body, into another room. I have talked a bunch here about my Grandma, and how much she means to me, so I'm sure I don't have to go over that in detail. Needless to say, it is harder than I ever imagined to watch her now in her final time in life. I feel amazingly blessed to have been able to help with her these last few months. I feel in a way that I have gotten my Gran back. I love that when i rub her back, she loves it too. I love that she tells me she loves when I visit, and she appreciates me spending time with her. I'm glad that Meritt and Bella are having a chance to spend a lot of time gr owning and forming some priceless memories of their Gigi!

As beautiful as it is to be fortunate enough to spend this time, it breaks my heart in a million pieces to see the pain she has in her eyes. Her body is finally at 89 doing what her mind did years earlier... it's dying.

I know she's headed to heaven, and that means peace and triumph for her. However, what am I going to do when that day comes? When I must say goodbye. How will I ever live without her?

She is all of my best childhood memories.
She has been my safe place.
She has taught me obedience, and what a godly woman looks like.

I pray that God will use me in this new year to be there for my Gran. To give her love, and time, and attention, and all of the things that I would want if I was heading to heaven soon. I want her to KNOW that I love her, even if she isn't always sure who I am. (because of her disease) I pray that I will grow up to be half the beautiful God fearing woman that she has lived to be. I pray I make her proud when she looks down on me one day from heaven's pearly gates, and knows Exactly who I am!

There have been a bunch of challenges in my path in 2010. I'm sure there will be more in 2011, but, I can only hope that while dealing with these challenges, I will grow, and change, and flourish into the woman God desires me to be!

filled with Gratitude...

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .

sigh of relief...

Last week about this time, I had heard all of the stressful and distressful news that I could take. I felt like there was way too much on my plate, and I was starting to feel like I couldn't breathe. I felt as if I was in a thrashing ocean, just trying to keep my head above the waves long enough to get some air.

In the last few days I've felt this wave of breath come back into me... and I know exactly where it's coming from. It's Jesus.

He's been softly nudging me, comforting me, to relax and trust, to listen, and be quiet. To know that he is always there. That he will truly never give me more than he knows I'm capable of handling. Even if and when I'm not sure that I can handle what he has given me.

I am here to tell you. If you are struggling, feeling alone, or overwhelmed, lost, or afraid of what's to come... that he is ALWAYS there. For me, and for you. Put your hand in his, and follow close to his side, and you will be just fine! Thankfully, so will I!

in times of anxiety and worry...

This time of year is inevitably my most stressful. A lot seems to snowball on top of me. There are times that I let all the stress, worry, and anxiety pile on top of me, and bury my heart. There are years and times that I have totally forgotten who to put my trust in so that my anxiety will be at peace. Today, I am conscience of this stirring within myself... and I am not giving in to this stressful time. Sure life is still stressful... Sure I'm still tired as a dog... But, I know, that God will never give me ANYTHING I cannot handle. By worrying, and feeling anxious, I am sending God the message that he in fact does not have my trust or my confidence that he has me covered. So, in this season of stress, I give HIM my anxieties in prayer, and feel totally at peace!


"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

Philippians 4:6-9 ESV

'look at Jesus'...

"We all want to be good examples for our kids - but how often do we stop and consider what
it really entails? In addition to changing diapers and running carpools, and helping with
science problems, godly women are supposed to be wise, resourceful, hospitable,
encouraging, diligent, creative , generous, faithful, watchful, vigorous, strong and cheerful -
and that's just for starters! If you think I am making this up, take a look at Proverbs 31.
Reading this passage used to discourage me. I'd start by checking off the verses I had
"covered" - things like sewing curtains and dust ruffles, or keeping my lamp burning late in
the night as I made endless "To Do lists. But no matter how hard I tried, I never got much
farther than that. I was always, as my friend Kenzie likes to put it, "the Proverbs 32 woman".
But that's where Jesus comes in. By myself I will never measure up. No matter how hard I
try to do everything "right," there will always be times when I let my children down. Unlike
the Proverbs 31 mother, I will probably never know what it feels like to have my kids get out
of bed in the morning and call me "blessed!" But I have learned that the less I rely on my
own abilities and the more I rely on Christ - and the more I let my children see me
depending on him for wisdom, guidance, and strength - the more I will be able to set an
example that's worth following. Instead of saying "Look at me," I'll be able to say
"Look at Jesus."

(pg. 190 of Praying the Scriptures for your Children)


God is always there to give us the wisdom and guidance we need right when we need it... isn't he?! This little passage started my morning. Coincidence, I think not!

the praise of summertime...

This morning as I was getting ready to go to the Willamette Celebration Valley Church service, I was listening to the radio. Dee Duke from the Jefferson Baptist Church came on with a tid bit to chew on for the day, and it kind of knocked me between the eyes. {funny how God works huh?} Anyway, he said, God doesn't want us to be anxious for anything, and that when we are we are directly disobeying God. Hmmmm hello, is that me, yes! He said give your worry and your anxiousness to God, and trust that he will take care of you.

So, today, that is what I am working towards. Not going to say I have it all figured out... this letting go, letting God stuff, is HARD. But, I have to admit being anxious and worried about all the stuff going on in my life doesn't do me any service. It does me no good. It doesn't make me get all my 'to-do's' done any faster, better, or more efficiently. Actually, just the opposite. The worry zaps my energy, it makes me feel tired, and unable to cope. So, I'm taking a deep breath, letting go of the worry, giving God my anxiousness, and trusting that he will take perfect care of me! Time to enjoy the process. Enjoy the day, the season, and the blessings that overflow around me, if I'm willing to see them!

{Still working on road trip photos, they will be up this week!}

feeling overwhelmed...

Just thought I would check in with my blog and my blog friends out there. We are home, and have been home for two days from our road trip, and now, I'm a bit overwhelmed. I've been meaning for the last two days to download ALL of the photos from our trip and write about our great trip to California to visit Matt's wonderful family. But, it just hasn't happened.

There isn't enough time in the day I've decided.
There aren't enough days in the week, enough weeks in a month, and enough months in a year to get everything done, and accomplished, that I have to do on my plate.

My brain is spinning tonight...
Too many things to do, and I'm not even sure where to begin.
There is a very long to do list for the week(s) ahead!

The only thing I do know tonight is that I cannot wait to get recharged at the Willamette Celebration in the morning! Tomorrow the whole Willamette Valley is getting together for a church service. It's gonna be AWESOME!!! I need so badly to go and get centered by worshiping and praising God!!! I know that as soon as I do all of my feelings of being overwhelmed will be a distant thought.



Psalm Chapter 61:2
From the end of the earth will I call unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

preperations...

*This was written over at Passionate Homemaking by Kat at Inspired to Action*

{This article really hit home with me! It inspires me, and makes me want to be more Christ like as a mama. It is no secret that our kids feed off of our moods, our stresses, and our highs and lows. If we want our kids to be joyful, we must first be joyful. If we want our kids to learn to pray, we must show them how. If we desire to give more than we are currently giving, it is up to us to change ourselves!

It is really hard at times as a mom to keep your patience, keep perspective about this little things, when there are so many BIG things that need our attention. But, very often if we take a deep breath, and slow down, keep it all together, so will our precious little children!}




Preparations
We set out their clothes, make their breakfast, and tidy the house so that our children can start the day off well.

But there is an even more important preparation we need to make before the day begins.

We need to prepare the day for them. To pave the way in prayer. To prepare our hearts and attitudes to welcome them to a day full of potential.

They take their cues from us. If we wake up late and grumpy, there’s a good chance they’ll be grumpy. If we greet them with a smile and hope for the day, there’s a good chance they’ll be hopeful and happy too.

We don’t need to wake up 2 hours early. 5 minutes will do wonders. Just a focused window of prayer, thanksgiving and a little “pep talk” from the Coach before the “game” begins.

I love to meet the day before sunrise (or kid-rise or husband-rise). In the early morning, It’s a truly blank canvas. The day laid out in all it’s vastness – full of possibility.

3 Steps For Preparing The Day For Your Family

1. Start With A Grateful Heart
I’m not always chipper in the morning. I don’t always feel like praying. It’s amazing how much my attitude changes after just a minute of thanking the Lord for all the wonderful blessings He’s given me.

2. Focused Prayer for Each Person
I use this calendar to pray for my husband and this calendar to pray for my children. In the fog of the early morning or the rush of a late morning, they give me direction and focus as I pray for my family.

3. Worship
One of my favorite songs to listen to in the morning is by Christy Nockels and it’s called Invade. I’m pretty sure Christy could sing Father Abraham 128,897,979 times in a row and I think I’d soak in every single repetitive note. She has such a gorgeous voice. Combine that voice with these amazing lyrics and that makes for a wonderful morning anthem.

Jesus, come and walk the halls of this house
Tread this place and turn it inside out
With Your mercy…
Jesus, teach us the prayers that open these doors
Until Your light floods in and illuminates these floors
And let Your truth be on our steps and in these rooms
Jesus invade…
Welcoming Our Children to Today
What an honor we have as moms to greet our children with all the hope of a fresh, brand new day.

Today could be one of the best days of our entire lives.

Today could be the day our patience overtakes our impatience – for good.

Today could be a day we make memories my children will laugh and talk about for 50 years.

Today could be a day God uses us to change someone’s life – forever.

Let’s take seriously our opportunity to prepare our children for the wonders of Today.